I'm sorry, but your pants have leprosy.

Internet,

I love polka dots. I really do. I own many items of clothing that have polka dots on them. In a nod to all little girls' childhoods everywhere, I own tights with polka dots (and appropriately call them my "leprosy tights"...which raises an interesting fact: I have names for my tights...but I digress). My coffee cup at work is red with white polka dots. I even own a package of polka-dotted drink umbrellas that I will likely never use because I don't really do any kind of beverage that requires umbrellas (but was compelled to purchase them because they HAVE POLKA DOTS ON THEM!!!).

But jeans? No. This is awful. And madness. Awful madness:

I'm sorry, but these pants are leprosy. Or something equally dire. Indeed, these jeans may be life threatening (I fear for your physical life if you wear them, let alone your social life). Be forewarned: I prefer you not to be beaten up for this atrocity.

~Minny LinnEy