Calling Noah: we need an ark

Internet,

Because my boat club currently looks like this...

...we've all abandoned ship, and are finding alternate workout options (and also watching the flood waters rise here).

Me? I re-discovered my building's workout facility on Saturday. And then I re-discovered that awful contraption called a "treadmill." Internet, I doubt I've been on a treadmill in years. Maybe even closer to a decade. It's painful and gross. But after surviving a couple miles, at least my ankle didn't hurt (haven't really run since that ol' injury), and I didn't freeze my lungs (we're still in the grip of winter around here; thus, the indoor treadmill part), nor did I slip on any ice (see the "we're still in the grip of winter around here" thing above). Give me back the erging, I tell you! It's far preferable to this running thing.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Camera, Chairs & Soap

Internet,

No, by this blog post title I'm not referring to taking pictures of someone washing chairs (and I refer to the actual inanimate objects - not chairmen...I kind of find it funny that to be more politically correct, many individuals now call people by the word for an inanimate object...and since I'm even talking about this in this venue, I think I'm hanging out at the Capitol too much these days).

On Camera:

Live flood cam of the Mississippi River in downtown St. Paul here (halfway down the page...updates every 30 seconds...if I had more time, I'd probably be mesmerized. Watching floodwaters rise is much more interesting than watching grass grow, I tell you).

On Chairs:

It's BYOC Day at the MN Capitol: lobbyists are carrying their folding chairs around with them as they move from place to place or committee to committee...It's an entertaining sight, to be sure.

On Soap:

Another reason for why I think I'm hanging out at work too much these days - at the cost of less sleep: instead of rinsing and drying my lunch-time apple, I tried to put handsoap on it after rinsing it. I think I need more sleep, and I possibly also have a subconscious need to eradicate germs. Or something like that.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Hydrogen - 2; Oxygen - 1; People of Minnesota - Losing...

Dear God*,

Please make the snow stop.

Please don't let us be washed away in flooding.

Thanks in advance.

Yours,

Minny LinnEy

*Internet, I must address this request to a higher power because I don't think you can help us on this one

Death by a Thousand Paper Cuts

Dear Internet,

The title of this post is no joke: I am suffering an alarmingly large number of paper cuts at work this session. I don't know why (other than my own carelessness, of course), and some of them are alarmingly close to my right wrist. (Apparently I'm not very coordinated when it comes to those file folders and bills while I'm carrying them.) I'll try to be more careful, mainly because it's really annoying to try to use my mouse and constantly be putting pressure on the paper cuts.

Speaking of mice...We abandon the boat house and the mice have taken over. Spotted last night during a coaching committee meeting: one bold mouse exploring the ballroom on the second floor, searching out higher ground, or something like that. (And once spotted, none of us said a word or did anything, but instead just watched it run through on its way elsewhere. At least it wasn't a rat.)

Alas, Internet, I'm not doing well on my bracketology. But I suppose that's to be expected when I took a mere ten minutes to fill out five of them (yes, 5). And it was only ten minutes because one of the five involved an actual pencil and paper copy of the brackets...otherwise, it would've only been about seven for all five brackets (I can click much faster than spell it out).

Have a great first full day of spring, Internet (never mind we're supposed to get a couple more inches of snow on Wednesday).

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

The Mighty Mississippi

Here's one way you can spend your Saturday morning (like I did). (Who needs to take still photos when a local news station follows club members around?)

Oh, we Finnish-Americans and our holidays.

I will not be celebrating this supposedly made-up Finnish-American holiday by wearing green or purple, by feasting or drinking, or by singing the holiday's corresponding Ode/Ballad. But I will be celebrating by wishing all of the Internet a very happy St. Urho Day!

Attn: Reader's Digest

Internet,

I know I am probably not Reader's Digest's usual demographic. But I love their magazine (even though they've gone completely insane with green-ness...and I'm not talking envy). Suffice it to say, though, I believe RD isn't even keeping up with the times of their normal old-people demographic.

The lovely RD people sent me a renewal notice, and instead of the now-normal verbiage of "place" or "affix" a stamp on the payment envelope, RD's says "paste." "Please Paste First Class Stamp Here."

Internet, never mind that people now pay a lot of bills online. I realize that their demographic still likes mail and stamps and they probably don't trust anything Al Gore may or may not have invented - mainly because RD tells them about all about the fraud that is rampant online and instills fear in them that their identities will be stolen the second they get on a computer - but I'm pretty sure that the old people haven't been actually licking stamps in, hmmm, probably a decade. So. Get with the times, RD. The United States Postal Service did when it got around to self-sticking stamps.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Old Person-in-Training

Attn: Minnesota Drivers

Dear Internet,

Why do Minnesota drivers not understand the difference between the concepts of "Merge" and "Yield"? Especially on this road? Although there is some overlap between the two concepts of merge and yield, the sign that is red and white? means that when I have the right of way and am going 45mph, you should probably not pull out in front of me. All three southbound entrances onto this road (besides the original entrance off Selby) have yield signs. Minnesota drivers should learn what that means, or if they once knew, review the drivers' manual DPS posts online for everyone's convenience. Mainly because I am tired of slamming on my brakes for you idiots, and I am really annoyed when you honk at me when it's your fault you do not understand that "yield" does not mean "merge," and that I cannot stop on a dime (especially in winter driving conditions...which we still have around here).

I'd greatly appreciate it if you would pass this along to the idiots, Internet.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Great news!

I didn't get sick last night.

(I know, Internet: you were just dying to know.)

I can't even remember what month it is any more.

Dear Internet,

I ate a carton of yogurt this morning that had expired on February 17th. I thought to myself, "Hmm, it's only a couple days old, so I'll be fine." It tasted fine. And then I realized it's March now and maybe I should go through the contents of my fridge a little more closely.

If I end up sick in the middle of the night, though, Internet, we'll know what to blame...'cause if I end up sick, it couldn't *POSSIBLY* be because I ate an entire box of Girl Scouts. Er, Girl Scout Cookies (made with Real Girl Scouts!). See, Internet, I know any potential sickness couldn't *possibly* be caused by a box of cookies, because last week I ate an entire box of Dulce de Leche cookies (made with real caramel!) (and Girl Scouts!) in one day, and that didn't make me sick. So how could the Thin Mints or Samoas do that, either? (They won't. I'm sure of it. Otherwise, I'll take mine back to the cute little Girl Scouts and say they broke their Guaranteed Satisfied promise.) (I just looked. Their boxes don't have a Guaranteed Satisfaction promise. What a con.)

In other news, Internet, that I am going to somehow make relate to the above...I went to True Thai for dinner on Saturday night with friend K. I inhaled a grain of rice, and ever since then, my lungs have been trying to cough it out. And then this morning I did a 20mn erg test at the club, and now I'm coughing even more. If I cough enough, I might gag, and maybe THAT'S what I can blame any potential sickness in the next 24 hours on. (I ate the leftovers for lunch today, and besides being deliciously spicy, I did almost inhale another grain of rice...and now I'm kind of disappointed my lungs aren't a matched set - each complete with one grain of rice inside!)

And in even other news, upon which I will force a link to any potential sickness...I'm kinda stressed out at work right now. On Friday night, I got all dizzy and headache-y and went to bed early, Internet (and by early, I mean early - I already try to go to bed at 9:30 most nights these days, so we're talking before that). On Saturday morning, I fell down some stairs when I seemed to forget that I was walking down them and simply forgot what I was doing on the last few. Any potential sickness in the next 24 hours is merely a delayed reaction to one or all of those things, I'm sure (never mind I was fine yesterday...but I am back at work today, and that's definitely a cause of many bad things, Guaranteed).

And now in other news that will make many people ill, I finished the latest Vince Flynn novel over the weekend. Well, Internet, it's not the finished-the-book part that will make most people ill. (Actually, the book is awesome, and I'm glad I finished it.) No, the part that might make other people ill (and it kinda turned my stomach, too) was the part in the novel where Stan Hurley takes a bite out of his captor's ear and proceeds to chew it like a potato chip (Vince's charming imagery, not mine). See? Now everyone else can be sick with me as we think about that lovely little visual (and audio, 'cause I'm sure there would be sounds with that). And now to make others sick, I don't even have to share my boxes of Tagalongs or Trefoils with anyone.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy