Merry Christmas!

Out of the orient, crystal skies

A blazing star did shine,

Showing the place where poorly lies

A blessed Babe divine.

This shining star three kings did guide

Even from the farthest East,

To Bethlehem where it betide

This blessed Babe did rest.

[He was] Born of a maid of royal blood

Who Mary didst called by name,

A sacred rose which once did bud

By grace of heavenly flame.

And for the joy of His great birth

A thousand angels sing:

"Glory and peace unto the earth

Where born is this heavenly King!"

Lyrics: English Traditional, circa 1613

Listen to a sample of the most excellent Richard Zgovada composition/arrangement here (see #18), or check out a fairly decent live recording of it here:

Out of the Orient Crystal Skies

Extra verses I found that aren't in the popular Zgovada version but are floating around out there:

Laid in a silly manger poor,

Betwixt an ox and ass,

Whom these three kings did all adore

As God's high pleasure was.

The shepherds dwelling thee about,

Where they this news did know,

Came singing all even in a rout,

"Falantidingdido, falantidingdido, falantidingdido!"

[Side note: Google Translate can't tell me what "Falantidingdido" means, either, so I'm going to assume it's a made up word, à la Dr. Seuss (for the Middle Ages).]

Merry Christmas!

The Big Bang

Internet,

I got a haircut yesterday. I decided it was time for a change...possibly a big one. Well, I didn't go really big, just bang:

I got bangs! And also cut off about six inches. It feels strange so far, but I like it.

And then yesterday evening, I realized something. I have not had bangs in probably twenty years (possibly longer), and with this particular cut, I can kind of look like I did all of those years ago. It's a very strange feeling:

Now to see if I can handle them day after day after day. I will probably wear them as they were cut (picture 1 above) because I might revert to feeling nine years old if I wear them straight down...

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

SNL: An all new duets record

Internet,

I haven't watched Saturday Night Live in years. First of all, I usually have better things to do (like sleep or read or take out the garbage or, well, pretty much anything else). But on Saturday night, I was just home from playing a Christmas concert and was eating dinner at the time it came on, and I watched a bit of it. Mainly because of this sketch, which I have to admit I find completely hilarious:

Isn't this what we really think of all of those artists (or should I say "artists"?), anyway? Yes, yes it is.

I will admit to being a mite disappointed when it seemed like MB was a bit chemically inconvenienced from the ol' egg nog when he actually sang the regular guest band segments. But even though he appeared to have been drinking, he still has a nice voice and managed tolerably well.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

"Don't tell ME we don't have any money."

Oh, my goodness. Internet, there is a lot of stuff one can find to purchase on you. The following is a list of some of the most excellent examples I've found JUST TODAY(!):

Pre-Decorated Pull-Up Christmas Trees. I love this so much, I almost want to wear it as a dress. (Be sure to watch the video of how it works. Link courtesy of co-worker SW.)

The OCD Chef Cutting Board. Because I, you know, julienne carrots and such so often.

Camo Golf Balls. I really think they should make multiple versions of camo: traditional camouflage, sandtrap, and Blades o'Grass.

Predator vs. Prey Mittens. The only thing missing is the blood and gore.

Medieval Weapons Push Pins. No, seriously: I actually kinda like these.

(And the day's not even over yet! I can probably find some more useless trash if I really cared to.)

Merry Christmas [Shopping], Internet!

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

There's laziness. And then there's Forever Lazy.

Internet,

I will admit to you that I have often wondered why they don't make adult-sized footie pajamas. Wouldn't that warm fleece be delightful on a cold winter's night? And it would all be one piece, so my inherently lazy side could be indulged by being able to put on fewer items of clothing. And my childhood memories of footie pajamas are so delightfully nostalgic. I kept thinking I could really get into that.

But, oh, let me tell you: my opinion has changed. I have come to realize that there is a level to which no human being should go. Over the weekend, during a late-night viewing of something-or-other that was on TV, I saw this commercial advertising "Forever Lazy."

Here, watch it for yourself to get a firmer grasp on that to which I refer:

At first, I was intrigued. Were these the fabled adult footie pajamas? Wait, no. There is no footie part to this costume. And then it became weird in a way that reminded me of the pink bunny suit from A Christmas Story:

These people [speaking of the commercial's actors...I wonder how much they got paid to do this ad? I'd hope a lot, because they will be made fun of by their families and friends for The Rest Of Their Lives...and if they ever make it big in Hollywood, this ad will come out during one of those "Before You Knew Them" segments on some late-night talk show] were wearing them at all hours of the day and night, as if they were real clothes. With witnesses! It was as if these people were voluntarily inviting Flick himself into their homes to view them in bunny suits! Even I - lazy me - began to feel uncomfortable with the idea that these contraptions have gone beyond sweat pants into the northern, cold region version of the muumuu.

And then, somehow, it got even more bizarre as the creators of this product imagine real human beings will take their Forever Laz[ies] into the great outdoors. As I was listening to their claim that they will be "the talk of your next tailgate," I was thinking, "Why, yes! They WILL be the talk of your next tailgate [party]...because everyone who sees you wearing this thing will be talking about what an idiot you are!"

And then the icing on the cake was the, ahem, "tailgate," aka, the zippered hatch. No worries about having to use the stadium pal or other similar infomercial product with this thing! (Unless you really wanted to, of course. But my mind will explode with the mental idea that anyone could stoop to such levels of sloth, so I refuse to go there.)

I believe my nostalgic ideas of footie PJs should remain fond childhood memories. Because this? Is way worse than the snuggie. This *is* the slippery slope, Internet. I feel like putting on a suit (complete with pantyhose) just to make myself feel less slothful for having watched or contemplated this.

~Minny LinnEy

Playing [This Old] House

Internet,

My cousin and his wife bought a house. And then they gutted it. And now they're putting it back together. Only better, nicer, stronger, cleaner and less ugly. And while they've been doing it, my dad has been getting to play at contractor in his retirement.

Quite the stylish look you've got going there, Dad; the aunt and I had to do a fashion shoot to get photographic evidence of it

And I got a bit jealous. So, I went up there, too, and have now experienced a couple of days of playing at This Old House.

I love This Old House. I adore everything about it, to the point where I wish Tom was really some long-lost uncle of mine, Kevin was my neighbor, Roger owned the nursery and garden center up the street, and Richard himself would teach me to solder a few pipes or something. [I love how most of them - according to their bios - are still renovating their own houses. I wonder if it's like the cobbler's children going shoeless...Also, a large number of them are married to women named "Kathleen" and they all like boats or sailing - must be pre-req's to be on the show, I guess.]

So, anyway, you can imagine my joy at being given the chance to

• Destroy stuff with a Sawzall,
• Play with the most awesome toy of all: the magnetic sweeper (ok, maybe the Sawzall beats the magnet, but not by much)
• Learn that my cousin's wife and I - though completely inexperienced - stain rafters faster and more color-matched than my father and aunt (I'm sure it was just a fluke, Dad; you're definitely the woodworker, not me!),
• Pry nails out of ceiling lath without a ladder (with a crowbar and my height, it worked like a charm),
• Get in on the spray-foam insulation action (though cousin Mark had to do most of the heavy lifting on that one), and
• Wear a gas mask (everyone's doing it).

Quite the trend, I should say - such a statement they make

Although I still have not yet realized my dream of doing some pipe soldering (yes, really: learning to solder is on my bucket list...but considering it's kind of the only thing on my bucket list at the moment, I either need to *not* do it so I won't die soon, or add more items to my bucket list), I did get to experience a couple of This Old House dream days. As Mark puts it, this will be practice for when I do it myself. Ha! As if.

xoxo, Internet!

~Minny LinnEy

Curling: Yoga on the Rocks

Curling: it's harder than it looks, Internet. Let me tell you of its agonies and ecstasies.

First of all, let me explain that everything I know about curling comes from (in order) 1) the Simpsons, b) friends Amanda & Joel, and iii) watching it every four years during the Olympics.

I've heard it's terribly fun (see reason b above), so last month, a few friends and I decided to check out this curling thing. One friend bowed out, the one on the right in the picture above was jet-lagged (having just returned from Europe the day before), and then there are the two of us on the left (both six feet tall, with centers of gravity not all that close to earth...or so it felt on this particular evening).

We showed up for our three hour clinic, and as we did, I kept wondering how on earth this could take a full three hours. Let me tell you, Internet, the time flew. And furthermore? If they'd given us a quiz on all of the stuff they taught us in one short evening? I'd have failed. (I mean, look at wikipedia's glossary of terms, alone! See what I mean?)

First up: sweeping. That was probably the best it was ever going to get for me. Just like Marge Simpson, this was my shining moment (and possibly a lot of other people's best moments, also). We rocked that sweeping like nobody's business. (Never mind there weren't any actual rocks on the ice at this point. We just swept the ice and tried not to trip over our own - or anyone else's - feet.)

Second up: lunging. Before they even gave us any rocks to play with, they wanted us to begin working on our pose. Now, I can do a lunge on a regular surface in real life. I could even do one on the ice while we were just standing there watching the demonstration. But see, the thing you don't see on the 'lympics is that they have these special shoes. One of them is extremely slippery on the bottom. So to make up for the fact that none of us had these special shoes, our instructors then gave us these shoe-shaped pieces of plastic they call "sliders." They do exactly what you'd think: they make you slide. A lot. So imagine attempting to do a lunge or some sort of yoga warrior pose, on ice, as you push yourself off what they call a "hack" (similar to the push-off device you see in track events).

The whole point of practicing the lunge without the rock is that you are supposed to be able to completely balance yourself and get the motion down without the rock - because you don't want to put any of your weight on the rock. That's bad. You only want to use the tips of your fingers on the rock's handle, and then you want the motion you use to send it to be nice and fluid. So, no rocks at first. You step on your slider, put the broom on the ice with its handle shoved up in your armpit (to help you balance yourself), and then push off the hack, keeping your butt down as you lunge, holding your position until you come to a gentle stop before the line (imagining all the while that you've actually had a rock and knew what to do with it at the right time).

Essentially, I took this to mean that you are to push off in what you think might be something resembling a lunge, and then pray that you don't fall over. I didn't fall completely over at this point (as some did), but I couldn't seem to keep my right leg extended behind me. I dropped that right knee into the ice so hard and so often, I ended up with some major bruising on it (that finally went away a month later).

But let me tell you about one awesome thing (the biggest ecstasy, I suppose you could say) about curling! If you fall over, you're already icing your future bruises! So just stay there an extra few seconds (or minutes) and enjoy the nice, cold feeling that will help alleviate the swelling and discoloration.

Third up: the rock. So at this point - after lunging all over the place - they finally gave us rocks to throw. Again, the goal is to not put any of your weight on the rock, and you want to deliver it just right - spinning in the right direction, moving at the right speed, aiming for the correct spot. This is the point where, after I threw one passable rock, I then promptly started sacrificing my body to send better-delivered rocks. This meant more bruising, and much more falling all over the place. Plus, every time I lunged, I somehow managed to, halfway through my delivery, lose the slider, and it would go shooting three sheets over into another game (sorry!). I was getting marginally better with my aim and distance, but horribly worse with my lunging technique.

Anyway, we got to play a few ends, and before I knew it, our three hours was up. I would love to go back and play more, but you pretty much have to join up with a league, and a three-month commitment is a bit more than I can handle right now. But maybe someday...I mean, you have to know that (just like the Simpsons), this is my last shot at the Olympics! (um, never mind that our instructor - who competes on the world circuit - has been doing this since she was 12. There may still be hope for me yet! or not.)

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Thankfulness

Internet,

I am grateful that I live where I can freely worship God. I am thankful I have a family who loves me and will always be there for me - and who I love and can support in return. I am grateful to have good friends - they are the family a person chooses (and they've chosen me back). I always have plenty to eat and drink, and God has always provided for me. I am thankful to have good health, a place to live, and a job that I love (yes, it's true: I do love my job). I am happy to have enough free time to pursue my interests, explore new things, experience plenty of adventure and travel to new places. I am thankful for all of these things and more...but today I also remind myself to be grateful more often and complain a lot less throughout the entire year.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Oh, my word! Thanksgiving is SAVED!!!

OK, Thanksgiving doesn't really need saving. But it could be made So. Much. Better. by this: here.

Can't you just imagine it now? You could serve Turducken, and then follow it up by this truly amazing dessert: a cherry pie, an apple pie and a pumpkin pie, each cooked inside a separate cake, and then baked all together inside one really big cake. (Although I think you should come up with a different name. Chances are you will have pimples after eating all of that, but do you have to make the dessert *sound* like one? No, no you do not.)

I hope you are all stretching your stomachs *right* *now* in preparation for tomorrow's feast, whatever the feast may be. (Except don't touch the stuffing. I like mine just the way my mom has prepared it for decades...do not mess with my stuffing! It is one of those things I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving - a plenteous bounty of stuffing, with enough for leftovers...and I'm actually pretty thankful for her, too...)

Hey, maybe we could Turducken or Cherpumple the side dishes...not sure what would fit where, but I'm pretty sure some creative people out there could stuff green beans and corn into a gourd or something, and then shove that into a cornucopia of something else...or stuff mushrooms with cranberries...that last one doesn't sound half bad!

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

[And thnx to Kentwig for the link.]

Autumnal Ramblings: The Foliage

Internet,

I am a big fan of fall colors. If you'll remember, I took a trip to New England a couple of years ago mainly because of foliage! (Well, and to see my cousin and eat a lot of food and see some new places. But the autumn colors were a big part of it!) This year we had some brilliant ones - and I am not just talking about the brilliant scarlet ones. The fall drought led to most excellent yellows and oranges and browns - yes, even brown leaves looked better to me this year.

On Halloween, I didn't involve myself with parties or trick-or-treating or anything like that. What did I do, you ask? Well, besides "dressing up" at work as an overworked legislative staffer (or, alternately, disgruntled gov't employee - take your pick! ha!), I took a little walk outside to snap a few pictures of the brilliant maple trees & gorgeous sunset happening in my neighborhood. Here is a sampling of them:

Could not have been lovelier, that sunset and those colors. If only they had stayed even longer! But alas, the world turned white since then, and now it's back to brown (i.e., the snow melted; I'm okay with that).

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Autumnal Ramblings: Did you know Indiana Jones plays the tuba? Neither did I...

Internet,

Remember that tuba concerto I mentioned a while back? Well, our orchestra played it over Halloween weekend, and let me tell you, that children's Spooktacular series got really exciting. Why? Because a) Indiana Jones plays the tuba, and b) we looked like this:

The first violins had the best costumes, if I do say so myself

Besides some of the higher brow stuff, we also played the theme music to Pirates of the Caribbean, so you know I had to bring back my pirate costume from a few years ago. (As did several other orchestra members!)

Former stand-partners-in-crime: B always has the best costumes, and I can never keep my eyes open (though it's probably fitting with the pirate theme)

Next up: the Messiah and a few more Christmas concerts in December.

Autumnal Ramblings: Applicious

Internet,

This fall, not only have I baked apples, made apple crisps (yes, plural), eaten apple butter (almost a whole jar of it myself) and drunk gallons of hot apple cider (the real stuff - the kind made with an apple press, and not that awful "cider" that's more sugary "juice" than anything real), I actually went to an orchard and picked some with my cousin.

Cousin R very appropriately wore red so she matched the apples in all of the pictures:

I, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered to leave the outhouse:

It was a delightful day. I'd forgotten how much fun apple picking can be (and how quickly those pecks get really heavy!). The only problem this year was I ran out of apples before I got around to making an apple pie! Oh, well.

Autumnal Ramblings: Putting the scare into fall

Internet,

Where to begin? I have been holding on to fall with my cold fingers (literally! It's getting cold out, and I have pretty much refused to wear warmer clothing because I'm in denial), and really don't want this beautiful autumn to end. So, I've been out and about attempting to enjoy everything I possibly can a) before session starts and I have no life, and b) while it's still relatively warm out and there's not much snow yet.

Anyway, since it's Thanksgiving week, I figure it's about time to get all things fall up on the ol' blog. Friday, all bets are off as the official Christmas season begins.

So here it is: the first installment. Throughout the month of October, I had the opportunity to see a great many scarecrows. Here is a sampling of them. Needless to say, I was greatly amused by people's creativity and selections. I mean, really: why on earth did these people choose their subjects? Pure entertainment, I tell you, and quite a lot of them spot on.

The Hulk:

Julia Child:

The governor:

Prince Chiming (wind chimes for hands? Terribly creative):

Basket Cases:

Is this flora? Or fauna? Flora as fauna? Does an owl even count as fauna? Not sure:

Humpty Dumpty (my favorite):

And this poor little guy, just trying to learn his job:

Complete with crows watching him:

And this last one - so easy, maybe even I could do this one without messing it up too badly:

Until next fall, good bye scary creations!

Turkey Day Alternative

It's being presented as a Thanksgiving Day alternative, but I would eat this any day of the year: here.

Update: maybe they will sell the above product in this vending machine.

Your Idea of the Future is Bleak, Mr. Hitchings.

No offense, Mr. Hitchings, but I sincerely hope you're wrong. Here.

Or should I say No offense Mr Hitching's but I sincerely hope your wrong no well you asked for it

You say that, "The apostrophe is mainly a device for the eye, not the ear," but do you fail to realize that occasionally people read aloud? Or that it is, yes, possible to infer the writer's intention - but takes so much extra time for the brain to process? It is downright faster and more easily comprehensible to read something when it has been properly punctuated. And it thus makes me sad to read (or in my mind, hear) you write (say), "I am confident that [apostrophes] will either disappear or be reduced to little baubles of orthographic bling." No, Mr. Hitchings, I do not accept that (nor did your article and statements therein make me excited to read your forthcoming book, either).

If "you're" becomes "youre," why bother having the two different homonyms in the first place? "Your" and "you're" will quickly lead to the destruction of "their," "they're" and "there." And so on and so forth. And really: I'd rather not call people places (similar to why I'd rather not call chairmen inanimate objects). People are people, and things are things. Let's call them like they really are.

And while I'm at it...

"Idioms": Fishes, Suicidal Clams & Grasshopping

A German guy attempts (quite hilariously) to understand or just explain American idioms, games and the like.

"I already have the fish before I put in the barrel ... in my big bag of plastic ... that you have just made shoot of."

"Twitter-tweets" and "Seasonal a-ffect disorder, only the season is every day."

On "Insecting": "That is not a spider," it's a "Q-Tip" with "some sticks."

"Logik," "You are now origami swan," and a little TNT.

(The whole TNT part actually makes a lot of sense...the scissors can beat the dynamite by cutting off the lit fuse. I think this is the only version I will ever play again.)

Moral of the story? I think this Flula guy needs to get more sleep. Don't the Germans have idioms?

Another moment of "Huh?"

Internet,

Did you know that there is such a thing as a tuba concerto?! I didn't. Well, at least I didn't before our orchestra started rehearsing it...because we're playing it...during a Halloween Spooktacular concert series. Somehow it sounds more like an April Fools' joke or something Garrison Keillor would've thought up than something scary or ominous: Ralph Vaughan Williams wrote a tuba concerto. 'Cause of course, that's the first person who comes to mind when I think "tuba concerto."

But actually, it's grown on me quite a lot. Upon watching the clips below for the first time, I kept thinking "I don't have the hair to play the tuba." Also, "That tuba looks really heavy." My arms are too puny to play that instrument.

The first movement makes me glad I play the violin. The second movement sounds the most like Vaughan Williams to me (though all of the movements have his fingerprints on them), and I think I like it the most. The third movement sounds the most like a movie score to me. Also, the third movement is pretty fast, and I'm again glad I don't play the tuba. (Although the violin part is also fast and full of accidentals, so maybe I'm not glad I play the violin? And would just rather listen to the piece instead of playing it in any capacity.) Anyway, it's all kind of entertaining. I can't wait to actually perform the piece with our soloist.

To help you believe that it really does exist (yes, Virginia, like Santa Claus and those cute M&Ms), you can check it all out right here for your listening enjoyment, courtesy of them thar' youtubes and some pretty nifty musicians:

The Gaffigan Family Tree

Internet,

I went to see Jim Gaffigan on Friday evening with some excellent friendlies. As was expected, I laughed a lot. Now, as you will probably realize, I spend a lot of my time a) eating, b) exercising, and c) noting the hilarity that is regular life, so maybe I got a lot more out of his set than others might because it included making fun of a) eating, particularly at McD's, Domino's and Subway (and the mandatory Hot Pockets encore), b) gyms and working out, and c) expositing the hilarity that is regular life.

More thoughts on the aforementioned a), b) and c):

a) Did the Domino's ad buyers KNOW that Jim Gaffigan was going to be at the State Theater & would make fun of Domino's (and its customers), and then decide purposely to purchase that ad buy for the electronic billboard across the street as the show let out? 'Cause if so, that was genius. And the hilarity (and ab workout!) continued as we left the theater.

b) I kind of consider the whole evening an abdominal muscle workout, so I think that totally counts, right? (It's good that you agree with me, Internet, because I didn't work out the rest of the weekend.)

c) So after the show, I was leafing through the flyer that the Minnesota Orchestra sent me. And what should I have seen, you ask? Oh, that's right! James Gaffigan will be conducting a February concert series of Mussorgsky, Prokofiev and Tchaikovsky. I am almost tempted to purchase tix just to see if it's the alter ego of the comedian. Wouldn't that be AWESOME?! Combining one of my loves (music) with one of my pastimes (laughing). I could SO enjoy that.

(It's not the same guy. *sigh* Here's to dashed hopes. However, if you check out the picture of the classical conductor James Gaffigan, you probably will be much less disappointed. Also, that's a great program, so maybe I'll get tickets anyway.)

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Scandahoovians and Cooking

Internet,

If a person were to watch New Scandinavian Cooking with [insert name here], that person might get a few impressions. The first of which would be that there are absolutely no indoor kitchens in all of Scandinavia. And that Scandinavian cooks' entire list of main ingredients consists of white fish, dill or fennel, "the olive oil of the north" (i.e., heavy cream), and lingonberries.

I have to admit to being highly entertained by this PBS offering. I mean, where else in one short episode can you see a Norwegian guy 1) use an axe to cut dense, possibly too-nutritious bread (I mean, really? An axe? That might be a sign that it's too "healthy"), 2) milk a cow directly into a blender (apparently they don't have milk pails in Scandinavia, to go with their lack of indoor food prep space) in order to make a really fresh milk shake, and 3) pick whatever green thing that happens to be growing in the ground directly next to him at any given time to use as seasoning?

I would postulate that no where else could you possibly get all of this jam-packed into 27 stilted, unscripted minutes. And it is delightful. And I say this even though I don't think I'd particularly care to eat some of what they make. (I was, though, intrigued by what the Norwegian guy kept calling "caramel cheese." Must try this, whatever it is, exactly!) It's just that entertaining. Check it out, Internet.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

2011 HotMiss

Internet,

I am not referring to hot cocoa when I say "HotMiss." I'm referring to the Head of the Mississippi, and rather than cold and/or rainy and/or windy as it has frequently been in past years, today was perfect: calm water (only a hint of a tailwind on the course), mid-70s for high temps this afternoon, sun. Gorgeous. And no need for hot cocoa at all.

4+ Boatmates before our race this morning: AR, KK, KG and SW

Anyway, I rowed my last officially sanctioned race of the season today at the HotMiss. Anything else from here on out is for funsies. I rowed only one race at the regatta today, and it was a doozy: a 4+ in the open women's category, and it was extremely fun. Here's why:

1. We had an amazing coxswain (the one who sat in the bow, steered a rock solid course, talked us through the race, and got us to give our best as a boat together). Without this first one, I don't think the other reasons listed below would've been as good (or seriously, they might not even have happened without KK, our awesome coxswain).

2. We were set (balanced, for you non-rowing types who are actually reading this).

3. We had run (the boat was moving more forward than not). The goal was to "pass our puddles" (get a boat length of distance out of each set of strokes), and we were doing that.

4. We were racing at a 26 (26 strokes per minute - that's kinda slow in some people's minds)!!! But we had such good rhythm, were so solid and strong, and were making up so much ground on other boats in our race at that rating, we stayed there.

5. And we won our event by over one minute.

(Our prize = a hat)

But most importantly:

6. We had fun. The whole point of this race (at least for me) was to go out on the water and have a good time. And we did that. It was such a great feeling to really row well with teammates who've been through the thick and the thin all summer with me, and come out on top together - and I think I can safely say that all of us in our 4+ had a blast.

JK and SW enjoying some sun after our race.

This is the other KK (not in our boat, unfortunately), and after her two races, she kept laying down everywhere we went. The ground, the back seat of my car, everywhere.

(That almost looks like a cane next to her hand. It's not. It's a bike handle.)

The day wasn't completely without event. Teammate MH hurt her shoulder and needed some TLC. In these pictures she's a) trying to stay warm with all of that ice in her hand and saran-wrapped to her shoulder under that shirt; and b) testing out Halloween costumes (hunchback of Notre Dame?). I hope MH is back to normal soon.

So, that is it, Internet. A great day.

(Only now I have to go to orchestra rehearsal tonight. Wish me luck!)

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

A Day in the Life

Internet,

Sometimes, at the end of the day, I wonder what I've done all day long. Many times I don't think I've done much. Sometimes I can't remember at all. So to help myself with my old-aged-ness, I've decided to track one of my days. For example, yesterday.

7:29a Drag myself out of bed. (In an unusual twist this year - in contrast to the last four or five years - I will no longer be rowing in the mornings the last two months of the season, thereby allowing myself extra sleep. One would think extra sleep would mean I just jump out of bed, ready to take on the world. One would be wrong. It seems to be harder to drag myself out of bed after an extra two or three hours of sleep than if I drag myself out of bed before 5am when I'm not really awake enough to realize what I'm doing and how agonizing early mornings are.)

8:29a Leave for work. (Wonder who on earth all of these people are still on the freeway - they are all obviously late for work. Don't they know it starts at 8am? If they were on time, they wouldn't be in my way.)

8:39a Arrive at work, only nine minutes late (unlike those other people, who should've been at work by 8 o'clock, allowing me to arrive only seven minutes late instead of nine). (I'm on flex time through the end of October. I don't know how I'm going to get to work 39 minutes earlier on November 1st. See 7:29a above.)

8:39a Find only 1/4 cup of coffee left in the pot at work. Make more. (Wonder if it's worth getting up earlier in the morning to make it to work in time to not be the last person getting coffee each day. Quickly determine there's a whole fresh pot in front of me, and no longer care.)

8:41a Boot up computer, check email. Think about meeting I must attend that morning, and wonder how much prep I have to do for it. (Wonder, like every other time I've dealt with the meeting's subject, if orange is the correct color highlighter for the project. The subject is a criminal one, so I'm thinking orange = corrections = correct color. (At least, this is what the TV machine has told me: all people in prison either wear orange or black/white stripes. I don't think they make black/white striped highlighters.) Then I end up using a pink highlighter accidentally, and then wonder who even thinks about that kind of thing? and if I really am that OCD.)

8:41-10:25a I must have done something during this time, but one day later, I can no longer remember what that is. I'm pretty sure it involved pink highlighters, because I showed up at the meeting with pink highlighted documents instead of orange, even though orange = corrections = correct color highlighter.

10:30a Attend meeting. Discuss a subject that I now discuss every. single. day. with some of the same people. Feel extremely bureaucratic as we discuss how to properly discuss said subject. Discuss how to plan meetings to discuss said subject with other people who must be brought into the discussion. Discuss whether we can actually get said subject into shape and if it's feasible to get a working product done by...well, done by sometime. Sooner rather than later, I guess. Throw out dates and ideas and such.

11:48a Talk to a co-worker about another issue that came up this week. Decide to research and discuss that one more thoroughly tomorrow.

11:50a Eat lunch. (This is late for me. Usually lunch is at 11. 11:30 at the latest. This allows for maximizing the time for a proper two-lunch approach: one at 11, another at 2, and arrive home just in time for dinner. My day has been totally shot as I realize I never ate breakfast, and now lunch is late. Figure I probably am kind of OCD.)

11:55a Realize that you can, indeed, make grapes taste way better (and I already like the taste of grapes) by liberally coating them in a cool whip/sour cream/brown sugar mixture.

12:22p Contemplate the morning's criminal subject. Feel slightly overwhelmed.

12:23p Wish that orange highlighter policy subject wasn't in my research area.

12:24p Work some more on that. (The subject itself. I don't think I can get rid of the subject being in my research area.)

2:00(ish)p Take a break from all that contemplation and orange v. pink highlighter business. Eat a Snickers because that lunchtime "dessert" (grapes smothered in cool whip/sour cream/brown sugar combo) really can count as a "salad." 'Cause that's how we Minnesotans roll. (Some of us literally.)

2:20p Consult with co-worker. Encourage her to go home for a) her health, b) her sanity (are they not the same thing?), and c) our own health and sanity. (She does not go home...but I must confess, her not going home really doesn't affect my own sanity, really.)

3:12p Consult with co-worker. Encourage her to go home (again). (She eventually does.)

3:37p Computer crashes. (This is an almost daily occurrence, and it's generally at approximately the same time of day...I should probably call our IT dept, but don't, because then they would force me to upgrade to a new operating system that I was supposed to have converted to last fall, only have somehow managed to escape that up 'til now. It has almost become a game: how long can I get away with operating the old system before they catch up to me? Please don't tell on me, Internet.)

3:43p I've learned how to reboot quickly, and am back online.

4:29p Realize everyone else is going home now, and I can probably leave, too. Except I was 9 minutes late, and I'm not quite done with the work I had in progress (trying to find the end of the internet), so I stay a few extra minutes.

4:40p Wonder if I will ever get to leave the parking lot because the road construction in the area is causing traffic jams all up in my exit strategy.

4:48p Ponder why the guy in front of me is not going the speed limit when there are no obstructions or cars in front of him.

4:49p Am going slowly enough to stare with awe at the beautiful maple trees and their (turning) red leaves. It's definitely fall.

4:52p Stop for gas. (Think to myself, "Wow! $3.49 a gallon is a bargain! Yesterday it was $3.54..." and realize how sad that sounds. In pretty much every context.)

4:59p Arrive home.

5:02p Consider practicing my violin. Realize that my thumb still hurts from hitting it while docking during rowing practice on Monday night. Properly use readily available excuse to not practice. Figure maybe I can stretch that excuse out the rest of the week.

5:03p Watch an episode of the Simpsons. (Which I then used this morning at work. Sadly. Or not so sadly. Using Flanders-isms causes others to use them, too, which can be quite entertaining.)

5:30p Eat "dinner." ("Dinner" because it was just chips and salsa, and some ice cream. I don't know if that counts as "dinner.")

6:02p Brush teeth.

6:05p Realize I can stop wandering around in the kitchen and living room with the toothbrush still in my mouth. Stop brushing teeth; rinse. (Rinse in the bathroom, not the kitchen. Or living room.)

6:07p Gather stuff, leave for Bible study.

6:12p Realize there is really no traffic to be found.

6:31p Arrive at church for Bible study 14 minutes early. This so rarely happens, I don't know what to do with the extra 14 minutes. Send some text messages to people. (And then it dawns on me that if they text me back, my phone will vibrate throughout the entire Bible study, which is true, and it does. And I very properly and good-manner-ly-like ignore all of them...and just now realize a day later that I never really read or responded to any of them.)

6:45p Start new Bible study for the fall. Meet some nice people, eat some good cookies and pineapple (oooh, I wonder if you could make pineapple cookies?!), and drink tea (herbal, of course; it's after 5p, and I'm an old lady now).

8:56p Leave study, head for home.

8:59p Get stuck in traffic. Traffic is worse going home. Road construction. Apparently MnDOT has just changed the traffic pattern on the freeway, because everyone is slamming on their brakes, trying to merge, and traffic cones are flying everywhere.

9:09p Call my mom to talk. Talk talk talk. Dad wants to talk to me also. Talk talk talk. Good talk. Hang up.

9:27p Having arrived home, I wander around, wonder if I can eat "dinner" again. Decide that yes, this is an excellent idea because - as mentioned above - I never ate breakfast, I didn't eat a second lunch, and technically dinner was more like a snack with some dessert. Heat and eat some fake garlic bread. (This probably still doesn't count as "dinner," either, but whatever.)

10:02p Consider going to bed. Realize I don't have to wake up at 4:45am the next day (see 7:29a above), discover that I'm not totally wiped out because I slept in that morning (7:29a), and opt to look over new Bible study and lesson for next week instead.

10:09p Decide to listen to some music during study.

10:33p Hit replay on song "Call It What You Want," and realize my favorite line is "Who cares?" Indeed. Who does care?

10:57p Phone rings. Most people do not call me at this hour. Wonder who it is. It is Attorney O'Dell, calling me from California. Haven't talked to Atty O'Dell in a long, long, long time. He asks me if it's midnight where I am (it is not), and after congratulating him on his recent nuptials, we chat for a while. I sadly let him know that I only just received an announcement and summons related to the wedding (in true fashion, mail sent to my work moves very, very slowly through the bowels of the system...), and won't be visiting California in the super near future to meet his bride. Continue chatting. Think maybe I should visit California again sometime soon (but probably not next weekend).

11:10p End chat. Put things away so as to find bed. Brush teeth again. Realize it's probably not even going to be in the 40s tonight, so open window wider (perfect sleeping weather, those 50s!).

11:21p Pick up book. Reading Hugh Laurie's novel. (So far at 30 pages into it, I can't figure out if I should hear his Bertie Wooster voice in my head or his Gregory House voice whilst I read the narration. All I know is that the language in the book - but probably not the storyline itself - is more mature than either BBC or Fox audiences could handle.)

11:49p Turn out light. Instantly fall asleep.

My sport is going mainstream.

Advertising. Complete with guinea pigs.

Stickmen

How to waste five minutes online: interactive stories. I am a terrible drawer, Internet. But I am easily amused.

Well, duh.

I recently read this piece in your version of the NYTimes, Internet.

It's definitely mind over matter! (I mean, isn't that why the saying is "mind over matter" in the first place?)

And it's not just sports: I remember my violin teacher used to tell me that it wasn't that my fingers weren't physically fast enough to play a particular passage; it was usually that my brain was slowing down my fingers. If I just did it without thinking so much, I could usually play faster than I had previously. (And she was right.)

When I'm out rowing or biking or running or doing anything athletically challenging (but usually rowing, since that's what I actually push myself at), it's almost always a matter of getting my mind to cave in to what I want my body to do. Sure there are times when the body is tired, but not nearly as often as I allow, and probably not nearly to the degree I believe myself to be tired.

It also explains how it is so much easier to push myself to get better when I have competition (and also explains to me how it is so much easier to push myself on the water when I'm facing other real people in actual boats on existent water in live races).

In other news...

...I guess I'm just a little bit ... [I don't even know what word should fit here] ... about this:

North Korea is seeking to expand its tourism with cruises.

Most obvious: "We admit that we have a lot of shortcomings to overcome."

Not really comforting: "You're in North Korea here...You're completely safe. The North Korean military is protecting you."

If you can't find a job in the U.S., never fear - there is hope for you: the cruiseline can "even hire Americans.”

Whilst on board, you can get a history lesson: “In 1950, there was a war, the Korean War, started by the United States.”

In the running for advertising slogans are:

1. "Now we’re in a military zone; if you stay behind, you get shot"

2. "It’s like the Titanic"

3. “Of course, North Korea can’t rival tropical Cuba as a tourist destination"

So book your tour now! You, too, can enjoy "cramped cabins, cut-rate cuisine and foul, water-deprived bathrooms" and save $$$ by sharing a cabin with 8 new friends.

Japan: Six Months Later

Courtesy of the Atlantic, you can see some incredible before and six-months-after photos of the tsunami-hit areas of Japan here (click on the pictures for the after shots). Quite incredible, really.

iRow, iRide, iHurt: Version 2.0

Dear Internet,

It's been a busy September thus far - back to the whole "I-don't-want-summer-to-end" thing. The weather has been beautiful - sunny, gorgeous. I've been out and about attempting to enjoy as much of it as possible.

For example:

My dad and I went to a baseball game. I shan't talk about the score (talk about painful!). But I shall say "Hi, Dad!" and mention that it was fun to take him to his first game at Target Field as a belated Father's Day present.

I went to two games in a week and a half, and the lineups were almost completely different both times - but, similarly, they both contained people I'd never heard of. Oh, end of season woes.

Then this past weekend, I did something I said last year I'd never. do. again. Do I listen to myself? Apparently not. Anyway, the Pike Island Challenge was a good time - 13 miles with 3 delightful friends, all in 90 minutes. There was bacon at the end of it, so you know I was rowing a little harder to get to it before everyone else. Highlight of the day: when one of our teammates decided to turn the challenge into a biathlon, and swam over the finish line with his boat in tow.

Then on Sunday, on to the St. Paul Classic. It started out in a, uh, ahem, rather entertaining way. I - quite dumbly - wasn't really awake in the morning, and right outside my friend S's house, I clipped in, leaned too far over, and fell over. While at a complete standstill. So my first visit after pedaling a mile or so to the start was hitting up the first aid tent to get a bandage before I registered.

Entertaining facts: they only provided the nurse one large band-aid, but since I was the first person to visit her, I got it! And yet she told me that every year, she runs out of all of the sizes of band-aids...BEFORE the tour even starts! This year, with 7,000 registrants, I can see how that would happen.

D'oh! Here is the part that I can show you - after I got back home and scrubbed out excess gravel and skin, and once the bleeding had stopped (other parts involve bruising and some more road rash in unmentionable places, i.e., the entire right side of my body, apparently):

Here are the two lovely ladies I tried to keep up with for the last 10 miles or so: A & S. Unfortunately, one of our quad had to bow out with a back injury (we missed you, K!), but I ran into all sorts of rowers, fellow orchestra musicians, fellow government peons. It was great good fun.

We did the same 39 miles as last year, but this year, Internet, we stopped at more of the tour's rest stops to enjoy delightful music and treats. Oh, the brownies with chocolate frosting that I missed last year at the Lilydale stop - how could I have gone by those in 2010 with nary a thought to their deliciousness?! Well, I know they're there now, so I'll make it a point to stop next year. (Yes, I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably be dumb every year, and will continue to do these two events for quite some time to come...never mind how much my rear end hurts by mile 10 of each event...)

And finally, I have decided that since I'm on Twitter a bit more often lately, I am now feeding it onto this blog so people will know I'm not dead. (Yet. I haven't biked or rowed in a few days, so that probably helps my chances of not keeling over from tiredness.) It is unlocked, and the people may rejoice and read it if they so desire.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

The End of Summer

Oh, Internet. It is with a huge sigh that I say that the end of summer is here. (Also, it's supposed to be 90 degrees, sunny and humid tomorrow - One Day Only! Don't Miss Out! - so, I say this in the hopes that summer's not gasped her last breath quite yet.)

But we all know what the end of summer means! It's the Great Minnesota Get-Together! I went on Saturday with the cuz, and she and I had a great time. (So great, in fact, that we ate and watched and walked our way through it for a record - for us - 10 hours or something ridonkulous like that.)

To spare your cholesterol level, I'll refrain from listing the fair foods eaten this summer, with the exception of a couple of pictures and this note: SWEET CORN ICE CREAM IS THE MOST AWESOMEST THING EVER!!! (Seriously. It was delicious.)

Here is a snapshot of our day (and amusements):

The Beginning: Breakfast of Champions

The animals in the middle: This cow got more gussied up than I have been beautified in the last six months combined

Liberal use of hair dryers and trimmers all over the place

"Tools" of the trade - note the liberal use of White Rain hairspray

*Pretty sure there was also liberal use of white and black spray paint; it was like watching a cow get graffiti-ed

More of the Middle: In the baby animal barn (always one of my fav' stops), "Look at me, Mom!!! Look at me! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! I said, LOOK AT ME! Do you see me, Mom? I'm DOING A HOOF DANCE ON TOP of you, Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom?!"

"Maaaaawm, you NEVER watch me!"

*bursts into bleats and tears*

An example of non-animal middle (and why I stick to pictures of animals and food at the fair): I know - sometimes I, too, find that Burger King character a little creepy, but really? He's at the Haunted House?

The End: Bed-Time Snack

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy