There's laziness. And then there's Forever Lazy.

Internet,

I will admit to you that I have often wondered why they don't make adult-sized footie pajamas. Wouldn't that warm fleece be delightful on a cold winter's night? And it would all be one piece, so my inherently lazy side could be indulged by being able to put on fewer items of clothing. And my childhood memories of footie pajamas are so delightfully nostalgic. I kept thinking I could really get into that.

But, oh, let me tell you: my opinion has changed. I have come to realize that there is a level to which no human being should go. Over the weekend, during a late-night viewing of something-or-other that was on TV, I saw this commercial advertising "Forever Lazy."

Here, watch it for yourself to get a firmer grasp on that to which I refer:

At first, I was intrigued. Were these the fabled adult footie pajamas? Wait, no. There is no footie part to this costume. And then it became weird in a way that reminded me of the pink bunny suit from A Christmas Story:

These people [speaking of the commercial's actors...I wonder how much they got paid to do this ad? I'd hope a lot, because they will be made fun of by their families and friends for The Rest Of Their Lives...and if they ever make it big in Hollywood, this ad will come out during one of those "Before You Knew Them" segments on some late-night talk show] were wearing them at all hours of the day and night, as if they were real clothes. With witnesses! It was as if these people were voluntarily inviting Flick himself into their homes to view them in bunny suits! Even I - lazy me - began to feel uncomfortable with the idea that these contraptions have gone beyond sweat pants into the northern, cold region version of the muumuu.

And then, somehow, it got even more bizarre as the creators of this product imagine real human beings will take their Forever Laz[ies] into the great outdoors. As I was listening to their claim that they will be "the talk of your next tailgate," I was thinking, "Why, yes! They WILL be the talk of your next tailgate [party]...because everyone who sees you wearing this thing will be talking about what an idiot you are!"

And then the icing on the cake was the, ahem, "tailgate," aka, the zippered hatch. No worries about having to use the stadium pal or other similar infomercial product with this thing! (Unless you really wanted to, of course. But my mind will explode with the mental idea that anyone could stoop to such levels of sloth, so I refuse to go there.)

I believe my nostalgic ideas of footie PJs should remain fond childhood memories. Because this? Is way worse than the snuggie. This *is* the slippery slope, Internet. I feel like putting on a suit (complete with pantyhose) just to make myself feel less slothful for having watched or contemplated this.

~Minny LinnEy