Dear Internet,
Today is Presidents' Day. I am in favor of presidents. In fact, I quite like them. I would like to take today off to celebrate them. A lot of other people get the day off work. And you might think that I would get today off because it is a federal holiday and I work for the government. You would be wrong. Instead of spending an average of 11 minutes thinking about each and every single one of our 44 presidents (and that's assuming I only work 8 hours in a day), I will instead think about all 44 of them for about 11 minutes total (1/2 of which is the time it's taking me to write this post).
Similarly, what is the use of living in Minnesota if not for the purpose of having snow days? Other states have gotten snow days lately. I would like one, too, please. Sure, St. Paul only got 10.5 inches of snow in the last 24 hours (as of 7 this morning), but can't that be good enough? Other suburbs in the metro have gotten 15 or 16 inches of the stuff thus far. But no. Internet, the branch of government for which I work does not take snow days. We will meet in session today as regularly scheduled (once at 11, and another time jointly with the other body at 4:30 this afternoon...which blows that whole "only 11 minutes per president because a person normally works 8 hours" theory right out of the water, 'cause I sincerely doubt they'll wrap up quickly).
In other non-whiny news, Internet, I got to see my Boston cousin M this weekend, along with several other out-of-town family members. (We're blaming M for bringing snow with her...I don't think she's buying it, this being Minnesota and all.) My Uncle C celebrated his 80th birthday, and we "surprised" him, but imagine that, he got wind of the party through facebook. Nevertheless, it was fun, and I was completely entertained by the fact that because of his name, whoever filled out his birth records called him "daughter" of my grandparents.
I, being of the mind to pay attention to all things weather (ha! you know I jest, Internet...I never pay attention to weather because it is pointless! They're wrong half the time, and you can't do anything about it anyway, so why bother?), chose to run all errands on Saturday, specifically so that I could stay home all day yesterday. For example, I finally got my car washed on Saturday! Just in time for more snow, slush, and salty chemicals today. I also went to church with Boston cousin M on Saturday night, and then introduced her to Thai food (um, again? We're in Minnesota...how does that compute?) and that was nice.
So I was planning on working yesterday afternoon (because friends J & M, um, kidnapped? me and forced me to dinner on Friday night before I could finish my work...and then the three of us in turn kidnapped friend S and made her go with us, too...ok, it didn't really take too much coercion for either of us to attend). And I did get done the work that absolutely had to be completed yesterday.
But I also managed to read an entire book in about three hours on Sunday afternoon, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Loved it. I didn't agree with everything the author said, but most of it I completely get. My mother had some of the same qualities, though not in precisely the same way. For example, my mother once heard and lived the idea that there has to be one mean parent when it comes to music lessons and practice. And I believe that's totally 100% true. (In fact, I'm now very grateful to have had one "mean" parent who forced me to practice my instruments, just as I'm very grateful that my other parent is now building me instruments that I wouldn't be able to play without the first.)
While the author had the same intentions that I think my parents did -- high expectations for your kids, belief that with hard work they can do anything, wasting talent is a shame, honoring your parents -- my parents did not express their expectations or morals in quite the same way as the author. The biggest thing that I think is missing from the way she describes the Chinese and Western methods of parenting is something that did not play a huge role in her own parenting style - faith. Although her children were raised Jewish because her husband is Jewish, it seemed that in her mind there was no marriage of parental expectations with what we are called to do by a higher authority (i.e., God). She spoke a great deal about self esteem and how Western parenting just doesn't get it - and I agree with a lot of what she said (such as the basic premise that Western parents worry too much about their kids' self esteem, and how coddling kids won't help; things like hard work and discipline will help their self esteem). And even though my parents were big on teaching my brother and me about hard work, they ultimately taught me that my self esteem comes from being created in the image of God. Period.
God has made me in His image and I am like every other human being in that respect (from those in the womb to the very elderly or infirm), I have been created for a specific purpose, and I am unique to Him - with unique talents and characteristics. And that is the foundation upon which to build the lessons of hard work, not wasting talent, and the like. I think by the end of the book she comes to understand that every kid is different (back to that whole unique thing), and I appreciate that, but I would disagree with the premise that the parent is the ultimate authority, and that shaming one's parents is pretty much the worst thing ever (not that shaming one's parents is in any way, shape or form acceptable. It is just not the worst. evil. ever.): We are created in God's image (and just happen to look and act like our parents), and we have a moral code He's given us by which we are to abide (and our parents are there to guide us) - and that moral code includes hard work, using our talents wisely, and respecting our parents. But if I do not follow through with those lessons, it is ultimately God I am dishonoring. And that is a worse evil than shaming my parents (though technically, in my own case, if I dishonored God, I would be simultaneously shaming my parents because they expect more from me).
And on that note, Internet, I'll get off my soap box (or snow pile, as the case may be today).
Happy Presidents' Day.
xoxo,
L
Posts
