Anatomy of a 1x Race on a Windy Day in St. Catharines, ON; or, how you can race like me in 35 easy steps

Step 1: Visit the rowing statue close to the finish line of the St. Catharines course; possibly get ill from the thought of your upcoming race
Step 2: Get your boat in the water

Step 3: Put oars in oarlocks (with help from friend M)
Step 4: Realize speed coach battery has died; decide to not care

Step 5: Take socks out of shorts and put on

Socks are very important, and also easier to row in than flip-flops

Steps 6-16: launch, warm up, drift 1,000 meters in the wind, back it down so you don't run over other boats, etc.

Step 17: Come around the boat holder platforms and back it in to the start

Step 18: Wait for the start in Lane 5

Step 19: And we're off, aka 5 stroke start, 10 high, mini settle 10

Step 20: Done with the first 50 meters, aka settle 10

Step 21: Close in on the 250 meter mark (the red buoy) & listen to teammates cheer you on

Second 500 meters of the race: I promise, I'm still in Lane 5 out there somewhere
Step 22: Row
Step 23: Row

Step 23.1: Feel hair fall out of hat in wind, but hat miraculously stays on
Step 24: Row some more
Step 25: Row faster
Step 25.1: Try not to flip
Step 25.2: Try to actually catch water with blades in windy conditions
Step 25.3: Try not to flip
Step 26: Last 250 meters, bring up the rating
Step 27: Row
Step 28: Cross the finish line in second place
Step 29: Gasp for breath
Step 30: Die

Step 31: Done with the race, now to get off the water...row it back to the dock

Step 32: ...Where the heck is this dock?! I swear it was here 20 minutes ago...

Step 33: Yay! There's the dock! Land at Henley Island
Step 34: Finally, it's over! Dribble out of the boat, replace socks with flip-flops, carry boat back to rack

Step 35: Relief!

See? 35 easy steps. You, too, can row like an old person now.