Most people settle for parties when it comes to surprises

MANHATTAN BEACH, MINN. - By a meager three votes, a write-in candidate in this town defeated the mayor in Tuesday's election. But that's not the strange part: Mayor-elect Paul Allen wasn't trying to get elected. He didn't even know there was a chance it would happen. A secret campaign helped him get 21 write-in votes, topping the 18 for incumbent Frederick Gridley. The town, about 25 miles north of Brainerd, has a population of 62 people -- 56 are registered to vote. "I couldn't have dreamed I would be elected. I guess their secret mission was accomplished. I couldn't believe it. There were enough voters in the city who wanted a change," said Allen, who ran for mayor two years ago but lost. His wife, Janis, knew about the push to elect him as mayor, but she didn't let on, he said. The narrow margin gives Gridley the option to request a recount. As of Thursday, he had not. Allen said he will accept the position. "I am afraid I'll have to," he said with a laugh. "They made such an effort, I guess I'll have to oblige."
ASSOCIATED PRESS

I didn't even realize there was a Manhattan Beach in Minnesota...

Elections: Heaven or Hell

While walking down the street one day, a senator is tragically hit by a truck and killed. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the senator.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"There's no need! I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator, the doors open, and he rides the elevator down, down, down. When the doors open again, the senator finds himself in the middle of a beautiful green golf course. In the distance is a club, and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.Everyone is very happy and in formal dress. They run to greet him, and they reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expenseof the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil, who is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that, before the senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up, and the door reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. So 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by, and St. Peter returns.
"Well, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now, you must choose where you want to spend eternity."
He reflects for a minute and then answers, "Well, I never would have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better satisfied in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator, and down, down, down he goes into Hell. Now, the doors of the elevator open, and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. And it's hot, hot, hot, and the odor is just horrible. Sweltering hot. Hot and miserable. The Devil comes over to him and smoothly lays his arm around his shoulder.
"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "The day before I was here, and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland full of garbage, and my friends look miserable."
The Devil looks at the senator, smiles, and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us."

Quote of the Day

Dr. Scott Wright, a cardiologist at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, is a Republican running for the Minnesota Senate, and suspects that a single-payer health care system "would be run with the compassion of the IRS and the efficiency of Katrina disaster relief."

A very wise man once said...

"My advice to you is not to inquire why or whither, but just enjoy your ice cream while it's on your plate - that's my philosophy."

Thornton Wilder (1897-1975)
Novelist, playwright

Cat v. Dog

In the timeless tradition of cat v. dog (or dog v. cat) comes this story:

AP - October 16, 2006

RHINE, Wis.— After a disabled woman's cat started a house fire, her specially trained dog rescued her by bringing a phone to call for help. Jamie Hanson, 49, received third-degree burns on her arm in the fire that killed both of her pets, Sheboygan County Sheriff's officials said Monday. The fire started Sunday night when Hanson's cat knocked a candle onto a chair. Hanson's dog then brought her a phone, allowing her to call for help. Hanson, who lost a leg in a car accident, told the dispatcher she was disabled but would try to leave the house, Lt. Chad Broeren said. Firefighters found her standing in the doorway as flames engulfed the home, he said. She was taken to Sheboygan Memorial Hospital. Her injuries are not life threatening, Broeren said.

A couple of comments:

1. The cat finally got its revenge, but it didn't work out so well for the cat.

2. The dog will always be man's best friend, saving the day.

Moral of the story? Cats bad. Dogs good.

What should taxi drivers and pharmacists have in common?

In the Twin Cities, we have recently had a debate over Muslim taxi drivers and their refusal to drive passengers carrying alcohol due to religious belief (found in the Qur'an). I find it fascinating that MAC (Metropolitan Airports Commission) tried to bend over nearly backwards coming up with a solution (though that didn't fly, either). Basically, of the 900 taxi drivers at the airport, 3/4 are Somali, many of whom are Muslim. If a Muslim taxi driver at the airport refuses to carry a passenger with any alcohol in their luggage (or for any other reason other than a safety issue), the taxi driver is forced to move to the end of the taxi queue (where it might be another three hours before the next fare). So, here comes MAC, trying to solve the problem. They suggested color coding the lights on cab roofs to indicate which cabs will carry whom. Now, the MAC solution is not going over too well. I gather there is fear that, eventually, religious divides would become so great that even in day-to-day levels such as tax rides, society would fail to function. However, there appears to still be momentum out there to somehow address this issue in a way that will satisfy all sides.

But it brings to mind this last legislative session here in Minnesota where legislation was introduced that was dubbed the "Pharmacist's Conscience Clause." Why is there no one bending over backwards to accommodate those pharmacists who, due to religious belief, do not want to dispense contraceptives or morning-after pills? There is the predominant thought from several legislators (Senators Lourey and Kiscaden, though now retiring, both sponsored legislation last session to this effect) that there shouldn't even be an "end of the line" for a pharmacist, but that they should be forced by threat of disciplinary action (see subdivision 3) to dispense such drugs, no matter their own personal beliefs. Let alone "color coded lights" on the pharmacy walls.

Does anyone else out there find this a little hypocritical? Christians don't matter but Muslims do? (I say this because from my perspective, those objecting to dispensing these pharmaceuticals and those sponsoring the legislation are predominantly Christian.) Are we this politically correct?

My only response - though ghastly and just as illogical as their own - is we should have a Muslim pharmacist testify in support of, if not sponsor, the pharmacist's conscience clause. We'd get better results. Or, at the very least, a discussion.

I've heard of Christmas in July, but Winter in October?

We've had temps below freezing and wind chills in the teens the last few days here in the Twin Cities. Snow flurries all day long on October 11th and 12th? Not my idea of a good fall. Wind that howls very eerily on Friday the 13th? Also, not my idea of a good time.

I was complaining a bit until I saw this story by Carolyn Thompson:

BUFFALO, N.Y. (AP) - A rare early October snowstorm left parts of the Great Lakes and Midwest blanketed with 2 feet of snow Friday morning, prompting widespread blackouts, closing schools and halting traffic. The snow downed scores of tree limbs and toppled power lines, leaving more than 220,000 customers without electricity in western New York. By early Friday, 14 inches of snow had been recorded at the Buffalo Niagara International Airport, with reports of 2 feet elsewhere, said Tom Paone, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service. The snowfall was expected to continue throughout the morning, he said. On Thursday, 8.3 inches of heavy snow set the record for the "snowiest" October day in Buffalo in the 137-year history of the weather service, said meteorologist Tom Niziol. The previous record of 6 inches was set Oct. 31, 1917. "This is an extremely rare event for this early in the season," Niziol said. Detroit also set a record, its for the earliest measured snow. On Thursday, the city broke by one day the mark set on Oct. 13, 1909. The weather, among other factors, prompted Major League Baseball to move up the start time of Game 3 of the AL championship from 8:19 p.m. to 4:30 p.m. Only a few players practiced outdoors at Comerica Park on Thursday. The infield was covered with a tarp, so most of them hit in indoor cages. "It's definitely not going to be baseball weather tomorrow," said Dave Gurney of the National Weather Service in Michigan. "Around 45 degrees, wind gusts up to 35 mph and some snow showers." Meanwhile, a 105-mile stretch of the New York State Thruway from Rochester to Dunkirk, southwest of Buffalo, was closed Friday morning because of the snow. The Buffalo Police Department received more than 3,000 calls late Thursday and about two-thirds were related to the weather, Lt. James Watkins said. "There are power lines going down all over the place," he said. Crews worked into the night to restore power, but many customers were expected to remain in the dark through the weekend and into next week, National Grid energy company spokesman Steve Brady said. "This is extremely heavy snow and most of the trees still have most of their leaves, he said. "We can't do a complete damage assessment until the snow stops falling." Dozens of schools were closed and states of emergency were declared in the City of Tonawanda, and towns of Cheektowaga, Elma, Lancaster, Akron, and Depew. Unnecessary driving was banned in Buffalo and suburbs Amherst, Blasdell, Orchard Park and Hamburg. "We have a condition where 80 percent of the roads are impassable," said Lt. Stephen McGonagle of the Amherst Police Department. Officials said the snowstorm caused flight delays and cancellations at Buffalo's airport, which was shut down for almost two hours late Thursday. Meanwhile, tree branches were strewn across the roads around the region. A large box maple tree split in half, falling on Joan Casey's home in Buffalo. "The whole house shook," Casey said. "We were very afraid. Originally I thought it was just the thunder, and then I came outside and I couldn't believe it."

Rowin' on the River

Mississippi River, St. Paul

"Tenacious"

10.10.2006

The Launch

Warming Up

Practice Makes Perfect

"All eight, ready to row... and row."

Novice Team

Minnesota Boat Club

Raspberry Island

MLB: Minny Linney's Beleaguered (also known as the Twins)

Or Minny Linney's Bested. Or Minny Linny's Beaten. As in, "Beaten by the A's in horrible, ugly-offense, error-ridden shame."

*sigh*

I am a fan of leaving work early to go watch games with co-workers (either live and in person with dome dogs or at other comfortable locales, complete with hordes of boisterously cheering fans and Buffalo wings).

There's always next year, right? But then, I'm a fan of a club who basically grooms players to go on to play for successful teams (see David Ortiz, Doug Mientkiewicz - ok, Kansas City wasn't all that successful, minus their rout of Detroit last weekend, thank you Royals - AJ Pierzynski, et al; 1987 and 1991 aside).

I am an eternal fan of a ball club whose owner refuses to pay anything for decent players (see antonym, Yankees), or better still, keep them when we've got 'em (see many from 1987, 1991 and any time there's been hope of rebuilding in the last 5-10 years). I am not - I repeat, NOT - a fan of the Pohlads. They've set up multiple rackets here in Minnesota, with no end in sight. I didn't particularly mind losing the scumbag Pierzynski, and the memories of other players fade (except Kirby, who can forget him?), but I'd miss this 2006 version.

I am a fan of Gardy and Terry Ryan.

I am a fan of the M & M boys (Mauer: local boy made good, loved and adored by Minnesotans everywhere; and Morneau, Canadian guy, who makes you think of apple pie and boy next door playing with his bat and ball), both deserving of the MVP. A fan of Torii and his (sometimes-goofy) leadership. I love Cuddyer and his humor. Punto's unwillingness to settle. Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeew (as in, Ford). I am a fan of Redmond, proverbial old guy who's solid and dependable and (I'm positive) always-available sage advice. Even a fan of Tyner, who in his some 1450 at-bats has never hit a homerun, and would shock the world if he did. Radke's grittiness and tendons (holding his arm on - I was amazed I didn't see his detached arm go flying towards home plate as he pitched today). Ever a fan of Santana, Liriano and our bullpen. Boof? Who legally changes his first name to Boof? Only a pitcher would. And Nathan? The most un-sung hero of the AL closers, nay, pitchers, and the only pitcher in the bullpen who should keep his facial hair. (Sorry, Jesse Crain, it really has to go.) I am a fan of Dennys Reyes, who seriously has the roundest face I've ever seen, rivaled only by a cartoon (Stewie from Family Guy). I am a fan of Neshek's old school delivery and socks.

I am a fan.

Forever.

MLB: Minny Linney's Boys (also known as the Twins)

I still have hope. My Twins have been down more often than not this season, and I still have hope that they'll pull it off and win the next three straight, starting this afternoon at Oakland. I mean, how like this season's Twins would it be for them to do just that? I don't count them out, but why did they have to make it hard on themselves?

How is it possible that the first time I got to see Santana pitch live and in person, he lost his first game since August 2005? I went to the Metrodome on Tuesday afternoon, and was extremely disappointed. No, not disappointed with Santana, but with my other beloved (and offensively-challenged) players. Where has the offense gone? Where is the Minnesota Magic? Apparently Joe Mauer sent the wrong bat to the Hall of Fame ("Mauer sends one of his bats to Hall of Fame" Star Tribune, October 2, 2006). Nick Punto's two amazing catches practically in two fans' laps (nearly identical in games 1 and 2 both in location on the field and his position in catching them) and Morneau's jaw-dropping double play (in game 2) aside, there have been too many mistakes on defense to mention (although everyone's talking Torii, there was also the Bartlett bobble of game 1; the botch by Boof Bonser in game 2 where he tried to pick up a ball with his glove - but i suppose he'd just been drilled by the hit and still managed to get an out at first, so maybe I can forgive that one; and even Cuddyer, who apparently also had a case of greased-hand-itis out in right field during game 2).

All I want is another situation just like Twins v. A's in 2002. I want Cuddyer to say another really funny quote, just like the last time. Immediately after their 2002 Game 5 playoff win against the A's, Cuddy was the first to hug Guardado (former pitcher), and "all of a sudden I'm on the bottom of the pile," Cuddyer said, "face to face with Eddie, and we can't move, and I'm trying not to kiss him."

Wild Drive-Thru Rally

I've never even heard of a drive-thru rally, let alone participated in one. That is, until this morning. The MN Wild celebrated tonight's home opener with a rally this morning. Since I live and work in and around downtown St. Paul, I decided to drive through and see what was up with all the hoopla. Let me tell you, driving down Kellogg Blvd with other enthusiasts was a lot of fun: seeing all the Wild jerseys, hearing the horns blare, listening to a bunch of hockey fans cheer. But what was even better was driving through a line where you rolled down the windows and had people give you free stuff. I got a Wild flag for my car (actually two, when all was said and done), a Wild calendar, a schedule, free Caribou coffee, free snacks, free Coke, free OJ, free post-it notes. It seemed a little odd to have a rally that ended at 9am, but when I realized that you could cheer them on all from the comfort of you car on your way to work? Awesome.

HOTDM: Head of the Des Moines

Did you know Des Moines has a river called the Des Moines River? (Did you know Iowa even had a river?) I didn't either, until a few weeks ago. And then on Saturday, September 30th, 2006, I managed to tear myself away from other duties in life, and actually saw for myself that the rumors were true: Iowa does have enough water in the state to form a river. (I've heard rumors that there are other rivers, but we'll leave verification of those for another day, another race.)

That's me, in front, getting my shoes set in the right spot

I have officially raced as a rower now, and thus begins my one-year career as a novice (I can only race in the "novice" category for a year - I don't plan on quitting rowing after the next 12 months). I and three other girls, plus our coxswain (who steers and encourages us, all that) entered the Head of the Des Moines and rowed the Novice Women's 4+ (four rowers, the + means there is a cox in the boat, and we were all sweep rowing with one oar apiece). It was a blast.

From L to R: Kerry (you can only see her head; she taught me to row), Danielle, Georgie, Anna and me

Fall races are longer races than summer ones, and they're always called "Head of the _____" - I don't know why. So, the Head of the Des Moines was a 5000 meter race (about 3 miles for those of us who are Americans and can't remember a thing about the metric system). The best feeling was passing two other teams within 500 meters of the start, and holding off another team at the finish. Oh, and did I mention that we are part of a fantastic club? When we rounded the last bend (who knew there was anything in Iowa that wasn't straight or flat?), our team was there cheering us on - also another great feeling. We only came in 5th (but still earned points for our club which helped us tie for first place in points at the regatta), but I'm excited to get better. I want to win! I want a medal!

Last Few Hundred Meters: This is what nausea looks like (the precursor to dying right after the finish line)

My hands are like mincemeat these days: oozing sores, blisters underneath callouses, the whole nine yards (of medical tape and bandaids). But it's worth it. (It also helped that last night at practice, I finally realized that I've been very tense in my grip lately, so maybe I'll be getting fewer wounds in the future as I remember to relax.)

Saturday was a gorgeous day to race, and I'm excited for many future races. This is way too much fun to give up over a few bruises and blisters, sore muscles and frequent practices.