Priorities

Should I be concerned that the reason to lock my office door each night is more because I don't want a couple of my co-workers to steal the candy in my jar than because I fear someone will steal important stuff or government secrets?

I occasionally think the elected officials I work for have some, uh, interesting ideas, but they're nowhere near this guy.

State Sen. Ernie Chambers Sues God
Chambers Aims To Make Point About Frivolous Lawsuits

OMAHA, Neb -- State Sen. Ernie Chambers is suing God. He said on Monday that it is to prove a point about frivolous lawsuits.

Chambers said senators periodically have offered bills prohibiting the filing of certain types of suits. He said his main objection is that the constitution requires that the doors to the courthouse be open to all.

"Thus anybody can file a lawsuit against anybody -- even God," Chambers said. Chambers said he decided to file the lawsuit after a suit was filed in early September in federal court against Lancaster County Judge Jeffre Cheuvront. He's the judge who was hearing a sexual assault case in which the plaintiff wants to use the words rape and victim during her testimony.

Chambers' lawsuit, which was filed on Friday in Douglas County Court, seeks a permanent injunction ordering God to cease certain harmful activities and the making of terroristic threats.

The lawsuit admits God goes by all sorts of alias, names, titles and designations and it also recognizes the fact that the defendant is omnipresent.

In the lawsuit, Chambers said he's tried to contact God numerous times.

"Plaintiff, despite reasonable efforts to effectuate personal service upon defendant 'Come out, come out, wherever you are,' has been unable to do so,'" Chambers said.

The suit also requests that the court, given the peculiar circumstances of this case, waive personal service. It said that being omniscient, the plaintiff assumes God will have actual knowledge of the action.

The lawsuit accuses God "of making and continuing to make terroristic threats of grave harm to innumerable persons, including constituents of Plaintiff who Plaintiff has the duty to represent."

It says God has caused "fearsome floods, egregious earthquakes, horrendous hurricanes, terrifying tornadoes, pestilential plagues, ferocious famines, devastating droughts, genocidal wars, birth defects and the like."

The suit also says God has caused "calamitous catastrophes resulting in the wide-spread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth’s inhabitants including innocent babes, infants, children, the aged and infirm without mercy or distinction."

Chambers also says God "has manifested neither compassion nor remorse, proclaiming that defendant will laugh" when calamity comes. Chambers asks for the court to grant him a summary judgment.

He said as an alternative, he wants the judge to set a date for a hearing as expeditiously as possible and enter a permanent injunction enjoining God from engaging in the types of deleterious actions and the making of terroristic threats described in the lawsuit.

Caution: Lightning and Water Do Not Mix

The only time I've been super excited to go as fast as possible on the water during practice happened today: it was raining for most of the practice, and not that gentle nice mist kind of rain. It was hard rain. And then when it started lightning, it was more than time to get off the water. Sure, I'll do full pressure all-out race speed pieces during practice, and even enjoy it sometimes. But I'm not super excited about it. Until today. Between the lightning and the thought that our practice was going to be cut short by about 15 minutes of full pressure, all-out rowing, I was excited...Anyway, all boats got off the water safely, and I had an extra 20 minutes to kill getting ready for work.

Rush Hour

Rush Hour: Road Rage has got to go. As much as I love the game, every time I load the ol' blog, the little noise it makes drives me nuts. So now it'll be a link over there instead. Maybe I'll bring back the poll instead...

After swinging by Willmar, MN yesterday...

...ok, you don't really "swing by" willmar. You drive there for a couple of hours. And then sit through work-related meetings all day long. Which were fine. And then make co-workers stop with you at Dairy Queen on the way back.

I started the new Precept Bible study last night - this one's on the life of Samuel. I'm always excited to start class afresh in the fall. It's new and interesting, and there's the perpetual hope that I'll be able to keep up with the huge load of homework.

And this morning was fun, too. I got up, all set to go row, and then it was so windy, we couldn't go out. So instead, about 12 of us went out for breakfast instead. That's my kind of workout.

Ah, Starbucks Venti Pumpkin Spice Latte: How do I love thee?

Especially the morning after special session wraps up at 1:30a.

Flood relief package: Done.

It rather pained me this morning to put on a suit.

During the interim, Senate employees can wear business casual. So to make up for the suit that I'm required to wear today, I'm wearing killer shoes. Killer = they look great, but they'll kill me by the end of the day.

Yes, yes. We're going into special session at 5p today in the Minnesota Legislature. Our purpose is a flood relief package for SE Minnesota - and possibly a little something to do with a certain bridge in Minneapolis (but mainly the flood relief). What drives me nuts is that people are clamoring for this special session to be done right now. In the past (1997 and 2002 being the most recent years we've had special sessions to deal with flood relief), there has generally been a several-month lag between the disaster itself and the special session. This year? 3 weeks. How do you really know more than guesstimates at this point? It's hard to put an exact dollar figure on something that's barely happened days ago... I do not mean to say that we do not need a flood relief package. Far from it. It does, however, irk me that if you sling enough bad words back and forth between parties/branches of government, you can push people to hurry. I don't like hurrying. For instance, it would be nice to have actual committee hearings on the issue of bonding for the projects that will need to be completed in the wake of the terrible flooding. I know, I know - I seem to be all for the bureaucracy of the government by suggesting more committee meetings. But I'm really not for that - I just would like to see this done right. I don't want to have to come back next session to re-do things.

My favorite quote I've read thus far from Gov. Tim Pawlenty is, "We anticipate crisp floor action." I must confess I'm curious what is meant by "crisp." Will it be crisp retorts flying back and forth between parties? Crisp quotes from everyone, all of them hoping to make it into the papers? Crisp meaning quick? I can only hope for the latter, as this will be running into the evening.

Saturdays should be for lazing around.

The weekend proved too much for me, and I had to scale it back. My weekend just became Saturday and no Sunday. I lost Sunday to the cold I've had all week and some much-needed sleep. My cousin and I were supposed to go to the Renaissance Festival on Sunday, but between the cold and a meeting I'd forgotten about, that didn't happen (but should next week!). I also didn't make it to the meeting, what with the coughing and the phlegm.

Saturday:

7a The Pike Island Challenge at the Minnesota Boat Club
13-mile "fun" row. Oh, yeah. 'Cause rowing for 1:30:23 (you read that right: one hour, thirty minutes, twenty-three seconds) nonstop is "fun." By nonstop, I mean our boat never stopped moving. The Pike Island Challenge is supposed to be fun and a big social event, but it always turns into a grueling race between the rowers and between the rowers, kayakers and canoists (who join us this one time each year for the fun of it - the rowers always walk right through them, but the physics of our boats are so completely different, it's understandable). I was in a 4+ (four rowers, one oar each, plus our coxswain, who is about four months pregnant with twins, so technically we had 7 people in our boat, not 5 like you're supposed to have), and our cox gave each pair of rowers in the stern and bow about 10 strokes to get water twice during the challenge (while the other pair kept rowing). It's sad - it's like the Sahara Desert on the Mississippi River. All you want is water, but you're racing other boats, so you can't stop, and there's water all around you, and if it weren't such gross and dirty water, it would look awfully tantalizing.

Anyway, there's also this little tiny channel to navigate when you go around Pike Island, and it's highly entertaining. Our 4+ barely fit through - I don't know how the bigger 8+ boats made it. There's a little bridge back there, and you have to pull in your oars a bit to make it through, and then there's a couple spots where you hit mud with the end of your blades. That part was actually pretty fun.


View Larger Map (That's Pike Island right there in the middle at the bottom, where the Mississippi and Minnesota Rivers converge.)

After an hour and a half, though, you're exhausted. You have no strength left in your legs. You didn't quite row at a race pace, but fairly close, and all full pressure. You get to the club and dribble out of the boat onto the dock, grateful it's over. I cannot tell you how much your legs and butt hurt. It hurts to walk up stairs. (Not fun when you then go to the stadium - see below). It hurts to sit. Everything just hurts.

But then everyone gathers together and eats bacon and pancakes and all things breakfast, and the different clubs who've come together socialize, and it's all worth it. Every year the prizes awarded are wrenches. I have yet to collect mine (pretty sure I got one, but I'll admit it's because I think we were the only coxed four out there!), 'cause Emily and I had to leave to go the Gophers game...

11a Gophers Football Game
This also felt grueling. Being at a game that goes into its third overtime with Miami of Ohio is not the most fun ever. Especially when you'd been up by 16 points at one time during the game...But it was still fun, and not the worst game ever. Brewster is still new, and I never really expect much of a new coach in his first season with a team. You've gotta give the guy a chance to be here, implement the new system, recruit. all that. All I can say is, at least we're not Michigan.

4p Food and Friends
Some friends and I went out for pizza at Psycho Suzi's after the game, and I managed to stay awake the entire time I was out. This was quite a feat. By the time Emily dropped me back off at home (she'd also rowed in the Pike Island Challenge and gone to the game), we were exhausted. I cannot remember the last time 8p felt like 2a. Of course, it is getting darker out earlier now, so maybe that had something to do with it. Or maybe not.

Let's Play Government

Some days, this is how I feel at my job.

www.toothpastefordinner.com

My Fair Fair Experience (complete with wonderfully edible Fare)

I had a blast at the MN State Fair this year. Mainly because I ate more than ever, and still didn't get sick! (Though I didn't go on any rides on the Midway, because if I had, I definitely would've been ill.)

From the cute little baby animals (see pic of newborn lamb, left) to the Lumberjack Show to the Amateur Talent Contest to all of the people watching and food: It was a great time had by all. And it's the longest I've stayed within its hallowed gates in years! We must've been there from before 10a until 7 or 8p. One of the funniest things I saw was the preteen-ish aged kids showing their llamas in the judging ring. That was an interesting sight to behold, one I never thought I'd be interested enough to watch, but it was hilarious.

And the food. Where to start? I sampled all the normal choices, as I do every year: mini doughnuts, cheese curds, naked pickle (on a stick, of course), cotton candy, pronto pup, more cheese curds, caramel apples, hawaiian ice and sno cone (did 'em both), just to name a few. All fantastic. We also did some new things this year: meatball sub, quesadilla, mini cinnamon rolls (outrageous, both in how good they were and how expensive they were), spam curds (which I can't say I cared for, and think the name "Spam Turds" is a more apt title for them), mocha on a stick, all kinds of things. And food at the fair always tastes better. Maybe it's because they use special grease there to cook things. Maybe it's because everything you purchase is on a stick or fried - or better yet, both! You can try some of the items elsewhere, but they just doesn't taste as good.

NWIRA 2007 Minnesota Boat Club Pics

A slideshow of pics from our trip to Regina, Saskatchewan, for the NWIRA Regatta (August 24-25, 2007).

Some highlights and explanation (or lowlights, depending on your perspective):

-our bus broke down in Fargo. We were allowed 30 minutes at Starbucks by Miriam (the juniors' coach) while we waited for the replacement.

-our 2nd bus broke when the air conditioning decided not to work. That made for a very long ride the rest of the way up there and all the way back. It's a 14-hour trip. One way.

-we must have been really good, 'cause Miriam let us stop at McDonald's, too.

-the exchange rate is so bad, we all just used American dollars everywhere we went in Canada.

-the weather was gorgeous.

-our bus driver drove over some yellow barricades right next to the porta-potties. we were just waiting for him to start the domino effect on the porta-potties.

-In case you're wondering, that keg at the end is actually the award for one of the lightweight men's racing categories. They filled it up this year in memory of Al Wiederhold, the MN Boat Club's Novice Coach (one of my first coaches last year) who passed away earlier this summer, and for whom that award is named. He was famous for chucking the keg out on the water at the winner immediately after the race was completed.

-we negotiated with Miriam to stop at Tim Horton's on the way back for necessary doughnuts.

Happy Labor Day, Everyone!