Signs That Prove You Need to Go to the Grocery Store

• You consider salad croutons by themselves a good snack...or worse, dinner
• The "pantry" in your office at work is better stocked than your kitchen cupboards
• The only vegetables in your house were used as an ice pack for your knee two weeks ago
• You start considering herbs and spices as a serving of vegetables
• You think about counting the lemon drops your co-worker offers you as a serving of fruit
• You eat grilled cheese sandwiches every day, only you ran out of bread several days ago (so I guess it's just a slice of cheese)
• You prefer when you watch the children of some friends that they pay you in cheesecake (preferably pumpkin cheesecake - that's a vegetable, right?)

I guess this means I will have to go to the store soon - even if the only spare time I have these days to run such an errand is around 11pm each day.

Proving that people will vote on anything.

A vote to see if votes should count. Is America's attention span really that horrible? Yes, I guess it is.

Car of the Future

It's in the way you dress. The way you boogie down. The way you sign your unemployment check. You're a man who likes to do things your own way. And on those special odd-numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted, you want it in your car. It's that special feeling of a zero-emissions wind at your back and a road ahead meandering with possibilities. The kind of feeling you get behind the wheel of the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition from Congressional Motors.

All new for 2012, the Pelosi GTxi SS/Rt Sport Edition is the mandatory American car so advanced it took $100 billion and an entire Congress to design it. We started with same reliable 7-way hybrid ethanol-biodeisel-electric-clean coal-wind-solar-pedal power plant behind the base model Pelosi, but packed it with extra oomph and the sassy styling pizazz that tells the world that 1974 Detroit is back again -- with a vengeance.

Read the rest of this hilarious piece by iowahawk here.

(Thanks to Ed for pointing this one out to me.)

This week.

Minny LinnEy does not recommend getting a very bad cold the same week you go to the doctor and get a bunch of shots. Although the tetanus booster is currently making her arm look very muscular and defined, she realizes it's just because the shot has made her upper arm swell up. And the flu shot in the other arm did not have the same effect, so she looks rather lopsided. Also, redness in the same area does not equal tan. Thankfully, she is on the mend with the whole sore throat/cold thing, so that is good, and to be sure, the swelling and redness will go away. Someday.

In the meantime, Minny LinnEy will be getting her hair cut this afternoon to see if that helps her self image any.

Quote of the Moment

"We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world; and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read."
-Mark Twain

MBC in 2008

2008 Bow Ball

Amanda and me, both wearing her gorgeous creations

MBC "Star Oars" Gala

November 8, 2008

Random Thoughts

1) What is it about the people in the neighborhood where I live who do not understand that there is a verb (albeit inherently) in the word "crosswalk"? "Crosswalk" to the people of Uptown means a place where you walk halfway across the street, stop, turn back to talk to your friends who are still standing on the corner or going the other direction, and block all traffic.

2) The place to park your car while it's snowing in November is NOT under a tree that has yet to lose its leaves. If you do this (like I did yesterday), you'll end up with a leafy-icy-crusty mess, topped by heavy, wet snow. It is entertaining to enter the freeway with this mess on your vehicle and watch the cars behind you get nailed by snowy leaves. (Even though I did attempt to brush them off, the crusty nature of the snow has practically embedded the leaves into the paint on my car.)

3) I never thought I'd see camels in the Target Center, a place where a bunch of guys usually play basketball. However, when you go see the Rockettes there, you'll see camels (along with many other live animals).

Snow Season has Begun.

I was completely unprepared for snow on October 26th. (We had flurries.)

I am still completely unprepared for snow today, November 7th. (I had to actually brush the snow off my car, but at least it's not sticking to the ground too much yet.)

Quote of the Presidential Moment

"In America any boy may become president; I suppose that's the risk he takes."
-Adlai Stevenson

Quote of the Political Party Moment

"The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work, and then they get elected and prove it."
-P.J. O'Rourke

(***Please, Republicans. Don't get "elected and prove it," this time.)

I think I might have gone too far.

I have bought candy corn soda, courtesy of Jones Soda and Target. It tastes like cream soda with a twist of sugar, but it's a really weird color of yellow. I love candy corn (I mean, lOve it), but even this might be too much.