Dear Internet,
I've been far too busy to write to you this month, or really any of the last few months, but I'll try to throw some random thoughts at you to describe October. At least my version of it. Some snapshots, if you will.
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Found out today it's completely possible to wander round with a sweater on upside-down & not even realize it. #noCollarOrButtons #oneofThose* Anyway, the shoulders of the sweater felt a little funny, but it's one of those big ones that's sort of drape-y and there's really no neckline to it, just a bunch of fabric that kinda rolls or folds or just flops around aimlessly searching for some place on my body to get comfortable and rest itself, and you just can't really tell where the neckline or anything starts and stops. I did finally figure it out, though, when I realized the tag was scratching me in an abnormal place.**
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I started marking up my December calendar over the last few days. It may not even be Halloween yet, but it's getting ridiculous for December.*^ I'm booked so many days in a row, I don't even know what to think. The good news is I likely won't be playing too many two-a-day (or three-a-day) concerts this year...instead, I'll just do one every single day for approximately ten days straight. (Not quite, but pretty darn close. I should probably get out my violin for the first time since June...right...about...now.) And that's just the music. I also have parties and galas and friends and family and church to fit in there. And I might possibly have to show up at work at some point, as well.
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It's fall, and I've regressed - I quit wearing socks again. It's been too warm the last couple of weeks and I'm in denial that winter's coming.
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Speaking of fall and regression, I've also gone back to sleeping with my window open at night. And even though it was nice and toasty in the 60s today and won't get too cold tonight, even I think it's ridiculous that my neighbor turned on his air conditioner today. (And it's still on, even as I write this. I can definitely hear its hum through the open window.)
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I got a flu shot today. This means I'm now protected against pigs. Two different types! I'm not sure how I feel about that. On the one hand, I am a firm believer that a very nice nurse just straight up mainlined bacon directly into my body through that swine shot, and I have to love that.*** But on the other hand, I'm thinking that maybe it's really a conspiracy to protect me from bacon, and I really don't like the sounds of that. See, I
read about this shortage a while ago, and now I'm all concerned that there's a conspiracy to get people to eat less bacon****, and now I've been immunized against pork. This swine shot had better not have taken away my bacon cravings or made me allergic to it***. Seriously, though. The nurse did tell me that it would protect me against one strain of regular flu (regular? really? no flu is regular) and two strains of swine flu: the old one and the new one. (Great, they just pumped me full of old stuff along with the new and improved
MN State Fair scare stuff.)
*^*^* <----- Yes, this is yet another footnote symbol. And the footnote is another one about the flu and/or bacon.
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When someone told me last week that I *had* (no, that's not a footnote symbol...just an emphasis thing this time) to watch a candidate's youtube video, I was skeptical. And then I watched it and realized it had nothing to do with his state Senate campaign, but it speaks well of him as a candidate. I might have to buy the song on iTunes, and I don't even really listen to country music. Watch & listen:
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Shockingly, I had not tested this year's candy corn crop until yesterday. Part of this was because I had not been to a grocery store since long before I left for Europe. Yep, you got that right: this little piggy didn't go to market from sometime in August until Friday last week, which would make it October 19th. I estimate it was two months between shopping trips.***** Which is probably why my grocery store and Target shopping trips were really more like major expeditions and cost so much money. Anyway, please don't be shocked when I say I bought six pounds of candy corn.^^^^^ And at least I felt obligated to haul it through Target in a basket, so I got my weightlifting done at the same time.*^**^*
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In other fascinating news*`````*, I have decided that Minnesota restaurateurs believe that we are a state of Great Britain. I say this because I recently went to a place called
Butcher & the Boar*^"""^* and will soon go to a place called
Porter & Frye. Really? Ye olde english is making a comeback in the New World, colour me thusly, kind sire. Or some such nonsense. And isn't "boar" just a fancy name for "pig"?********** But I digress. Food = good. Pub-ly names = amusing, but not exactly Minnesota, yeah-sure-ya-betcha.
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Well, Internet, that is all for now. I could regale you with many more trivial tales, but I shan't use them all up in one fell swoop.
xoxo,
Minny LinnEy
*Yes, this is my tweet from earlier tonight, Internet. I don't have time to reinvent the wheel, for goodness' sake.
**Hey, hey now: not that abnormal. Get your mind out of a weird place.
*^And that's not even counting the ridiculousness that is Every Store Has Christmas Decorations Up In October. Chaos.
***Oh, really? Swine flu?! So you're saying they didn't mainline bacon into my veins? Sad. Not what I signed up for. I really was hoping those nice people would be billing my insr company with some cool code like "Bacon Injection," but I suppose they had to find some way to make it boring.
****Another conspiracy besides the supposed Health Concerns. pshaw. It's the other white meat. The internet and TV and radio and newspapers all have told me so.
*^*^*Also: who else wants to type the word as "flue" instead of "flu"? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?
*****Why bother with grocery stores when you're mainlining bacon? Oh, that's right: that didn't happen until today. Ne'er mind.
^^^^^It was on sale. Although, who am I kidding? I probably would have bought six pounds of it even if it hadn't been on sale. But at least I am sharing it with people at work. Well, I let a few people each have a handful, so that counts as sharing, right?
*^**^*Please don't judge my puny upper body strength. If you do judge, next time I might just buy even more candy corn to build up my weight training.
*`````*And you must find this fascinating because you've made it this far, footnotes and all.
*^"""^*Great place: order the Fulton-battered French fries if you go, and do try the pork chop with sour cherries. You will be surprised to learn, Internet, that I actually wanted the pork chop not because of its pig-ness, but because of the sour cherries. I'm obsessed with them. Almost as much as I'm obsessed with bacon. Do not order dessert at Butcher & the Boar: not worth it.