Odds and Ends. Well, no ends. Just odds.

Dear Internet,

Sometimes the end looms very, very far out of sight, even if the time until "the end" can be measured in days.

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I sent my mom a funny Mother's Day card. And accidentally got my dad in trouble (though the original intent was to poke fun at myself). Everyone had a good laugh over it.

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For reasons beyond me, I stayed up late last night ironing dress shirts. Apparently lack of sleep causes me to believe that, for the first time in years, I need to have crisp shirt collars at work. Or maybe friend Amanda has finally seeped into my subconscious, and I ironed in her honor.

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Also caused by the lack of sleep and insanity that is my job, I am reaching that stage where I can't relax. So instead, I annoy neighbors by moving furniture around at midnight on a Saturday evening.

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I cooked for my mom yesterday. And no one died. (So far.) As I was cooking, I kept thinking, "This is taking me a really long time. Does it usually take a normal person this long to cook bacon?" and "This is a simple dish...it really should not be taking me this long...I must be out of practice...or was I ever in practice?" Again, I killed no one, so that's what counts, right?

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Friend K asked me to send out a going-away party invitation to a bunch of people for friend Amanda (see the ironing shirts thing, above) and her husband. K provided the date and time and other details. I provided a re-wording of the Beverly Hillbillies song. Also done in the middle of the night. I can say that I think I got the idea while I was at work, but I really couldn't tell you that for sure. What I am pretty sure of? I'm pretty sure work is driving me a little crazy. Like, I haven't hallucinated yet, but I'm pretty close. (Although? How would I know? I might have really daydreamed that talking mouse in my apartment the other day. Or it could have been a really big bug that didn't actually talk. Or maybe it was a cartoon. Just saying. How would I know? But it was probably just a mouse or a really big bug. I think my roommate thought I was crazy, so...)

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I haven't worked out in weeks. I've heard that people have gotten out on some water in these things called boats and used some long stick-like objects to propel themselves around. I am forgetting that part of my life, and to be frank, I'm not sure if I really care.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

p.s. Internet, this is what my friends think my work is all about. But seriously? I don't think extending fall and spring by a mere 1 1/2 months each would actually eradicate winter. It'd have to be more like three months to each...