Woman saved from lightning by flip-flops

Yet another reason to love flip-flops and wear them as much as possible. They have so many practical qualities, including the rubber soles for grounding purposes when lightning strikes.

Sometimes I scare myself.

Let me be honest. I scare myself more often than "sometimes." For instance, the words flowing out of my mouth or "pen" can occasionaly cause me quite a shock. Why did I say that? How did I turn into one of "those" people? I refer specifically to the idea that I'm a Government Employee.

And then I felt relieved. A co-worker helped me diagnose my problem. I have been involved too much with a particular element, and need to cut back.

The New Element.
Recent hurricane and gasoline issues have provided proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton- like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every positive action or reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has no half-life; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This activity occurs every 2 years and the morons mostly spin in a counterclockwise (leftward) motion. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical liberilium morass.

Though it may be hard to do in a position such as mine, I'll strive valiantly to be less involved with this dangerous element.

My Fellow Musicians: I know you're as disappointed as I that there will be no Harmonica Hero

Activision Reports Sluggish Sales For Sousaphone Hero

SANTA MONICA, CA— "I played in career mode for hours and kept feeling like I was playing the same annoying circus tune over and over," complained a disappointed gamer.

Thunderstorms are to Sleeping as Humidity is to Rowing: Annoying (Sometimes)

In the last few days, we've had a few major thunderstorms here in the great land of Minnesota. I spent Friday night at the parental units' house in light of their centralized air conditioning and the 95.9% humidity we've been suffering around here lately. Oh, and also in light of the fact that I have no air conditioning. I generally don't mind it, and like to think that my life balances out: freeze at work all day, steam myself in my sauna all night. But once in a while...I need a break.

So on Friday night, I was nicely ensconced in my old bedroom at their house when, apparently, we had a great big storm roll through. Lots of thunder, lots of lightning, lots of deluge-y rain. I say apparently because I slept through it all. I also slept through part of a tree coming down in the front yard. And then I slept through the chainsaw working through that same tree the next morning. Slept, slept, slept. In nice air conditioning. It was beautiful.

Last night, however, I was back in my own apartment. It was humid and hot. I got over it. However, when I was awakened at 11pm by the storm, I was none too happy. I don't think the lightning and thunder bothered me so much, nor the d-lightful sound of raindrops (we're going through a drought here, people). It was the stupid pane of glass in one of my windows that was rattling for 30 minutes straight that drove me near to insanity.

This morning was humid. Again. When you get out on the water at 5:30 in the morning for practice, and the boat has built up condensation on the boat deck in the three seconds you've been out of the boat house, you know it's going to be bad. Dew points that are about 2 degrees below the temperature are horribly soupy.

So, the river has been full of grossness the last couple weeks. The level of the river is still way down, and since it's not moving as fast, it's just rather unpleasant. When you add many tree branches and dirt from a storm, I understand that. Throw in a few deadheads, you've got yourself an obstacle course - trying not to play bumper boats with other crews is bad enough. Throw in a deadheads, branches, logs and a railroad tie (yes - you read that right: this morning there was a railroad tie floating downstream), and it makes for some interesting steering and maneuvering. To be honest, I'm not really sure I want to think about where that railroad tie came from (what, with recent bridge alerts and the fact that we pass right under one all the time). Between that and the humidity, it was nice to be done with practice for the day. Only 7 more practices before we leave for the Northwest regional championship regatta...and only 18 more hours until I have to take another erg test.

Oh, the places you'll go, the things you'll see!

In the last week, I've been busy:

1. Alas, we lost our kickball playoff game and were eliminated in the second round. Great defense, no offense. And there ends my kickball career.

2. Went to the Bakken Museum which is housed in a really beautiful old mansion on Lake Calhoun in Mpls. Looking at all the little Pacemakers was very cool, at least until I started thinking about the surgery required to get the thing into a person, and then when I thought of surgery and leaving things in a person's body after the surgery, I kinda felt a little ill.

3. Went to the Sibley House. Apparently I'd been there before in my long-forgotten youth, but of course, I'd long forgotten anything about it. It was interesting. In fact, a lot of this stuff is interesting to me now that I actually care about it. Can't say that, as much as I loved history, I cared all that much to visit it when I was a kid.

China and its "nuclear" option(s)

So, what exactly should be our foreign policy in a situation of China having more than one "nuclear" threat against the U.S.? Although most of us think of the traditional nuclear threat from China, apparently there's now the financial one as well...

And as bad as it may be financially for American tourists to visit Europe right now with the devalued dollar, at least we may be able to do better business with foreign countries with our exports (at least in theory: "a weaker dollar means our exports become more competitive and this could spur increased production domestically," depending on a few other factors)...unless China has its way.

A month or two ago, I was conversing with a few people about American foreign policy. One comment that has really stuck with me since then is that Americans don't seem to see a difference between "policy" and "action" any more: they are one and the same. Is this true?

And further, our society of short attention spans seems to be causing us a major problem of shortsightedness in this chess game of international politics, if you will.

Just when you thought you'd seen it all...

...you come across this:

And then you realize it's actually soap. And you can buy it.

Uh, more than a little creepy.

This Weekend's Cinematic Viewing: Bourne Ultimatum

Yours truly helped contribute to The Bourne Ultimatum dominating the box office this weekend. I'm a big fan of the Jason Bourne legacy (not to be confused with The Bourne Legacy, the "fourth" book in the series, but written by Eric Van Lustbader, which I have yet to read, but heard isn't as good anyway). I started reading The Bourne Ultimatum in Mexico last November, and should probably get around to finishing it now that I've gone and seen the movie. Granted, the books and movies have nothing to do with each other after the first one (both first book and first movie - any series of books written a couple decades ago would have to be updated for a movie nowadays, and it's understandable, too, that you might have to adjust the plot to keep the short attention span of your audience and make them more movie-friendly), but they're all good in their individual ways. I'm not such a purist that I can't appreciate one because of the other.

The whole movie has a gritty feel to it, just like the second one, so even though you know that this could never happen in real life, it feels like it could. (I mean, seriously. How realistic is it from the first scene in both book and movie to have some guy survive a gunshot wound and the open sea? If you can buy that, you can buy the rest of the trilogy.) And Matt Damon. He's the one who helps make it feel more realistic. If there were any other actor portraying Bourne, I don't know that I would like the series nearly as much. If this movie doesn't make you wonder about the CIA and the NSA and which movie David Strathairn will show up in next because he's a good actor, then you must've been so completely distracted by the guy coughing directly behind you that you couldn't concentrate at all.

Like Ebert, and as much as I liked the way this one ended, I tend to think there's still a door wide open for another movie, but there doesn't necessarily have to be one for complete satisfaction in the trilogy. (And mind you, I don't agree with everything Ebert has to say in his review.) In fact, as far as I'm concerned, in three movies, we've only gotten to the end of the first book. There's more to be done with this series. The only question is, should it go on? Or will Matt Damon do another one? It would be horrible if they brought on some new actor (is that what fans thought when they replaced Sean Connery as 007?), or attempted to piece together a bad storyline. I was pleased enough with the ending of the Ultimatum movie, and cynical enough about Damon wanting to continue the franchise, to be content if this is the end.

Many people out there seem to like The Bourne Ultimatum, and count me in as one of them.

Thoughts on the Minneapolis 35W Bridge Collapse

I don't travel every day the section of I-35W that collapsed. (If any of you out-of-staters are wondering and hadn't heard or figured it out, the "W" means west, and it goes through Mpls. The "E" version goes through St. Paul, which is east of Minneapolis.) In fact, I don't drive it often at all, even though I only live about 3 miles away from it. I drive on another freeway all the time that forks away from 35W about 1/2 mile before that bridge. And even though I have not been down to that area of town yet to see without aid of cameras what the damage is (it makes sense to stay out of the way so the recovery goes more smoothly), I have noticed changes.

Obviously, there's more traffic on that other freeway, the one I drive all the time, I-94. And I don't even think we've seen anything yet - I feel like traffic's been fairly light the last two days. But when I'm on the river for rowing practice, that's when I notice the real changes. We've been having a drought here the last few months (if not years with bad snow fall amounts the last couple of winters), and the Mississippi has been really, really low this summer. There's usually a really fast current, but due to the drought, by the time water gets to St. Paul, it's not quite as swift (though, trust me: it's still very strong). But the water these last two days has been utter glass. Today I went out in a single on the Mississippi after regular team practice, and I've never seen parts of the Miss this calm. Fewer barges and boats are out on the water, churning things up. The last two days, I've seen recovery boats going up river, and Sheriff boats out there, too (an unusual occurrence in the absence of an emergency). It's been a little bit strange seeing boats moving around you that you later end up seeing on news coverage launching divers.

I'm glad that the recovery seems to be going better today and that they've dropped the totals of missing persons. During times like these, I'm grateful that God protected my family, friends and me. and then you realize that He constantly protects us - it's just that this tragedy so clearly focuses our attention on this fact.

Friends at Work

We have a rather tight-knit group of people who work in my research department at the Senate Republican Caucus - for that matter, all the staff are pretty close. Today, we lose three of our SRC staffers to new jobs and endeavors; two are close friends. One researcher is moving back to Iowa with his wife, the other staffer is headed to law school in Michigan. Politics in Minnesota has a high rate of turnover, and people come and go all the time, but these two are two I'll miss a lot.

I'm not really the type of person to stay in touch with former co-workers when I leave a job. Over the last five years or so, I've stayed in touch with only a very few. K and L, though, are two I hope to continue to have interaction with - our conversations have always run the gamut, from politics (naturally) to religion, current events to entertainment, everything, and I hope that remains the case, no matter where their future endeavors may take them or what the distance is between us.

Good luck, guys, and God bless.

Bridge Collapse in Mpls Tonight

For those of you out there wondering, I'm fine. For those of you family members, I've talked to my parents and Aunt Sharon, and we're all good. Check out more of the story at startribune.com.

KG

What can I say? Sure, I don't blame Kevin Garnett for wanting to get out of town, to go to a team with Ray Allen and hopes of going somewhere in the playoffs. But I'm disappointed, nevertheless. KG has been a big part of professional sports in Minnesota for a dozen years now, and as fun as he's been to watch on the court, he's also managed to not just keep himself out of trouble off the courts, but also be a kind and generous, decent human being. He'll be missed.

What I'm even more disappointed in is what we got for him. Players I don't know, couldn't name if I had to, and don't care about. Add this to draft picks that Kevin McHale is sure to squander, and I now have absolutely no reason to watch the Timberwolves for at least a few years. Maybe longer. If there is no other, our one tried-and-true tradition the last couple decades is squandering professional sports teams' draft picks. We're golden at that. I've said it before, I'll say it again. Kevin McHale may be the hometown boy-made-good and was a phenomenal player, but he leaves a great deal to be desired in his current VP job with the Timberpuppies.

Although I'll remain a Timberwolves fan, suffice it to say, I might be paying a little more attention to the Celtics this season, not without a little bit of longing for what might have been, during these last 12 years, over the next 5...Then again, maybe I'll just be slightly less bitter tomorrow.