Sometimes I scare myself.

Let me be honest. I scare myself more often than "sometimes." For instance, the words flowing out of my mouth or "pen" can occasionaly cause me quite a shock. Why did I say that? How did I turn into one of "those" people? I refer specifically to the idea that I'm a Government Employee.

And then I felt relieved. A co-worker helped me diagnose my problem. I have been involved too much with a particular element, and need to cut back.

The New Element.
Recent hurricane and gasoline issues have provided proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton- like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every positive action or reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has no half-life; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This activity occurs every 2 years and the morons mostly spin in a counterclockwise (leftward) motion. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical liberilium morass.

Though it may be hard to do in a position such as mine, I'll strive valiantly to be less involved with this dangerous element.