Don't forget the wind chills.

60°F above zero: Arizonians turn on the heat. People in Minnesota plant gardens.
50° above zero: Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Winona sunbathe.
40° above zero: Italian & English cars won't start. People in Minnesota drive with the windows down.
32° above zero: Distilled water freezes. The water in Rochester gets thicker.
20° above zero: Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats. People in Minnesota throw on a flannel shirt.
15° above zero: New York landlords finally turn up the heat. People in Minnesota have the last cookout before it gets cold.
Zero°: People in Miami all die. Minnesotans close the windows.
10° below zero: Californians fly away to Mexico. People in Minnesota get out their winter coats.
25° below zero: Hollywood disintegrates. The Girl Scouts in Minnesota are selling cookies door to door.
40° below zero: Washington DC runs out of hot air. People in Minnesota let the dogs sleep indoors.
100° below zero: Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. Minnesota gets upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.
460° below zero: ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.) Hell freezes over. Minnesota public schools will open 2 hours late.