Crying over Spilled Milk, and Jerry Seinfeld

Dear Internet,

I am breaking my pledge, and am visiting you on the weekends. I know, I know. I promise to do better next weekend. Really. I sware. I'll try to do better. Maybe. One can hope.

Anyway, Internet, I had the day off on Wednesday for Veterans Day. I chose to sleep in, and then attempted to prolong the experience by eating breakfast in bed. I chose cereal. This was an unwise choice, Internet, since it involved milk, and for the first time ever, I spilled milk in bed. Mind you, I didn't care so much about the spilled milk, nor did I cry over it; I cared more that I'd spilled a liquid on my bed. I guess that proves I should not be lazing around any longer than necessary, nor should I eat in bed (at least not anything that involves milk).

Then last night I went to see Jerry Seinfeld at the Orpheum in Mpls. Hilarious, Internet: I haven't laughed so hard in ever so long a time, and afterwards I fully realized that belly laughs = belly hurts. (Also, throat hurts from chortling overly much.)

Anyway, Seinfeld was going on about restaurants (To paraphrase: "What is it about restaurants that are so fancy? I want a restaurant where the food is 'not bad.' The restaurants that are 'great' are just too much. They drizzle sauce on stuff. Everything's drizzled. And what is it about reductions? If you quit reducing your sauce so much, you wouldn't have to drizzle it on. I want someone in the kitchen to just open a huge can of some kind of sauce and just dump it on. That's what I want..." and other similar stories), and one of the things he said kind of stood out to me: Have you noticed how they present you the bill in a book? "And now begins the reading of the bill..."

And this made me think of something, Internet: How disconcerting is it when you're a customer and you're given a menu on recycled paper that looks as though the maitre d' dragged it through the grease in the alley before handing it to you, and then later on hands you a small leather-bound volume with elegant gold embossed lettering known as the bill? You'd think it would be the other way around. I would like to know the restaurateur believes in his menu just the same as he believes he is to be paid (and as Seinfeld said, pay for some drizzled reduction). I think restaurants should take notice: If they must print the menu on copier paper, put some fancy font to it and then slip it into a leather-bound volume - preferably one that's thicker and with more substance than the one the tab comes in. Just sayin', Internet.

Love, as ever,
Minny LinnEy

Follow these simple steps to pretty much guarantee weird dreams:

1. Eat white Bavarian sausage, red cabbage and pretzels with real German mustard for dinner (at the Glock)
2. Listen to Stravinsky's Firebird while you fall asleep (listen here and here)

You will be inundated with dreams about strange things like creepy looking bugs and purposely wearing your jeans inside out in public. Trust me.

Veterans Day

Thank you.

The Edmund Fitzgerald

Thanks to JK for pointing out this vid to me.

Life as we know it: Tuesday

Remember when I said that Target had doubled the cost of their tights this year? I now know why. Putting a pair on this morning was like putting on a pair of pants under my dress. At least I know they'll keep me warm this winter.

And in memory of the Edmund Fitzgerald today, this.

In other news, orchestras and music are definitely running at full hilt, and after two rehearsals in as many days, I now have a violin hickey from having my violin under my chin for a couple evenings straight.

I know why I always get in the Christmas mood way before December - and it has absolutely nothing to do with how early stores put out their Christmas wares or how early I start gift shopping or stuff like that. No, I finally realized it goes back to childhood. Were you ever in the kids choir or the Christmas pageant? And did you, like me, start rehearsing in October along with all the other kids (in the director's hope that you would sound decent this year)? Yeah. That's why Christmas music starts going through my head at such an early date. Only now, instead of church plays, I play in orchestras that start rehearsing Christmas music in November. That more than anything else, I think, gets me in the Christmas spirit earliest.

The Head of the Hyndman, the Wild and the Nutcracker: sounds like the start of a very, very bad joke.

Dear Internet,

I had a very good weekend.

I took off early from work Friday to rest up and finally get rid of this cough that's been plaguing me since I got back from vacation, but alas: there is no rest for the socially active. Also, Internet, doing an 800 meter race on Saturday morning did not help the cough, nor did the vast amounts of Windex used when I helped to clean up the boathouse for the end of the year shutdown.

I'm still unsure of the name of the race we did on Saturday morning but it is now an MBC tradition: a race done on the day we pull out the dock. Is it Head of the Hyndman? or Head of the Hynie? or the Hind of the Hyndman? Whatever it's called, it's a lot of fun, and its namesake was even there all the way from Switzerland (but he still let me row the 1x I'm renting from him, which was nice of him). And then he got disqualified. Not once, but twice. I don't really understand how a person can get DQed twice in one race, but Martin somehow managed it. (Though it is the Head of the Hynie, so I guess that really does explain it all.)

Lining up at the start isn't so much getting into alignment with the other boats as it is just getting your boat pointed in generally the right direction (downriver towards Raspberry Island). And forget bothering to get even with the other boats. Coach Peter DQed half the contenders before we even started (OK, he only disqualified a couple people; he assessed lots of penalties right away: 10 minutes here, 4 minutes there, 30 seconds on another. Internet, apparently what you wear is as big of a deal in this race as how well you row. If you wear green (evil rival Minneapolis color), expect large penalties. Also, if you wear silver lamé pants while you row, expect penalties + jeering from fellow rowers.) Also, if you re-rig your boat to row it as a double instead of a pair, you'll probably get penalized (though your chances of flipping and getting wet may be lessened), never mind the penalty from not being in a single in the first place.

This year the start of the 800 meter race was announced in three different languages, adding to the hilarious chaos. I could get through the French and English, but when Coach Peter threw in German, I had no idea what was going on. (He probably told us all that we're horrible rowers when he was speaking German at us, for all I know.)

Another rule of this race involves doughnuts, Internet, making it one of my very favorite races of the year. In the past, we have had to race with doughnuts in our mouths - but you can't eat it during the race. This year, Coach Peter decided for the sake of safety to nix that requirement, but we still each had to have a doughnut in the boat. Because of that rule change, I went all out and got a custard-filled, chocolate-covered doughnut. Then, after you finish the race, and before you dock, you have to eat it or risk disqualification. Internet, eating a doughnut is not an easy task when you're breathing very hard and would rather not eat anything at all at that moment. But down the hatch it goes. Also: if you are very smart and don't want to eat your doughnut, toss it in the river as a couple people did (so I heard - I ate every delicious bite of mine, and by no means am I endorsing littering, especially when it involves throwing away something pleasant to eat). If you are silly (Martin), you'll forget all about eating it or throwing it in the river and get DQed again.

All in all, Internet, it was a fun race. Also, I am proud to report that I was the first on the water back in March, and the last off the water in November (well, Captain Jac docked just after me - close enough). Never mind that there were, oh, two or three months in the middle of that when I didn't row at all because of a small injury.

And then after that, Internet, we took out the dock and the barge, and scrubbed everything we could down, including a bunch of boats. I still have to wash my boat this week, but that's a small chore compared to the work we put in on Saturday. And oh, Internet! It's so sad to have the dock out when it's going to be a beautiful week, with weather in the 50s and sun and no wind. The water would be perfect for rowing.

I also discovered a couple new boutiques on Saturday after lunch at Salut: Picky Girl, Stella Blu, and Shu. And then after that, Internet, my friend Abby bestowed some Wild tix on me (thanks, Abby!), and friend Kim and I went to the game. Even better: they won. But I am sad to report there wasn't a great hockey fight. I'm not really into sports that are inherently violent like boxing, Internet, but for some reason, I feel like a hockey game is incomplete if there isn't a good fight.

And then last night I started back up with the orchestra. This Christmas, we're playing the second suite from the Nutcracker, which is the one with the songs in it that no one's ever heard before (other than the Pas Des Deux). It's a bit challenging, especially since I'm sitting with the concertmaster this series and there are some first stand solos involving harmonics and such, but it will be fun (although I kind of wish that we were playing both first and second suites so people will not walk in and wonder why they're not hearing the normal Tchaikovsky version of the Nutcracker, even though we're playing it - just not all of it).

And that plus a few other things, like church and cooking up a double batch of chili, was my weekend, Internet. I hope yours was just as good without me as mine was without you.

Love,
Minny LinnEy

Quote of the Moment: how the book of Isaiah reflects today's times

"The God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ is not a local deity, not a tribal god, not an American pet. He is the Lord of the nations, they are all accountable to him, their fates and fortunes are in his hands alone, he will have the final word, and he will vindicate the faith of his people. Individuals are judged in eternity, but nations are judged in time. And time is moving inexorably forward, through the tremors of present judgments to the final shaking of all things on the day of the Lord. That certainty helps us to live above the madness and to care for others in their distress."

Raymond Ortlund, Jr., in Isaiah: God Saves Sinners, chapter 14, "The Supremacy of God Over the Nations I"

What do Sesame Street and CNBC have in common?

I hate to do this, but today seems the appropriate day to say something that's been on my mind. Since Sesame Street is turning 40, I thought I would point out a peculiarity I've noticed about the characters on Sesame Street and characters and guests over at CNBC: they kind of look alike.

Bert and Dennis Kneale








Count von Count and Greg Troccoli (fitting, since the Count counts, and Troccoli counts stocks and money)








Prairie Dawn and Sue Herera








Guy Smiley and Donny Deutsch








Sonny Friendly and Rick Santelli (who apparently found Sonny Friendly's toupee)

The list goes on and on. The Honks and traders reporting from the floor of the NYSE. Half the male anchors and Prince Charming - the other half are Sherlock Helmlock or Mr. Johnson or Kingston Livingston III. What can I say? It seems like crazy eyebrows abound on both Sesame Street and CNBC guests.

I know, I know. There's nothing CNBC personalities and traders can do about their appearances - they are who they are (well, the men could do something about their abundant eyebrows, probably). But Sesame Street...it's like they stole from life...uh, saw into the future 40 years later and created fiction based on reality.

At a loss for words.

When I heard this company advertised on the radio last night, I didn't even know what to think. The commercial was basically telling parents that if they don't trust their children or other members of their household about having drugs or guns in the house, the company would come in with their drug sniffing, gun finding dogs to search them out. Then it was up to you to decide what to do.

I'm not quite sure what I think of this concept. I can understand the idea when it comes to bringing the dogs into your business, or even a school - that makes sense (and both are services they offer). But when you are bringing in basically what looks like cop dogs (though the police are not involved at all, they say), then aren't you essentially declaring war on your kids? Again, I'm just not really sure if I think it's a great idea or a really bad idea.

Feeling like a DFLer. (This is not something I can say, well, EVER.)

For the first time ever, I vouched for someone at the polls yesterday. For those of you who don't live in Minnesota, we have a wacky system that, first of all, allows same-day voter registration, and then you can "vouch" for someone...well, someoneS. You can vouch for up to 15 people - that you know them, that you know they live in the district, etc. If you're like me, you probably can see that there are huge problems with this in the area of voter fraud.

However, despite my problems with that whole concept, last night, I vouched for someone.

My new roommate has yet to get her new DL, and since pretty much the only paper bill we get comes to me, well...she had no way of re-registering same-day in the new polling precinct without me vouching for her. So I did. I felt like a Minnesota Democrat. Very weird. But she voted, and all was good.

Obviously, I do not like this vouching system thing (even if it did benefit my roommate and me yesterday - I'd rather require pre-registration than this whole vouching system, if it came to that). The one good thing is that if someone vouched for you, you then cannot vouch for 15 more people. So at least that part seems right to me - the whole fact that there even IS a limit. But let's take a step back and discuss this 15 people thing. I mean, really? 15? Really? Even if you run into a situation like mine (where only one person in the household actually receives bills, which is part of our verification process, and you haven't yet gotten/received your new DL), why would you allow it to extend to 15 people? Surely you do not have 15 people living in your household who are of voting age, and surely there are not 15 homeless people living on your local park bench for whom you'd need to vouch. Who on earth are these 15 people?! I have huge problems with the 15 people part of the vouching system. Again, in a word, Fraud. Fraud, fraud, fraud.

I kind of have a problem with people engaging in fraudulent activity.

And that, boys and girls, is the end of this little elections system rant.

Civics: 101

Yes, indeed. I re-registered in my new city, and voted today. Sure, there's a mayoral election today, and a bunch of people are running for school board (mostly DFLers - I do live in the land of liberals known as St. Paul, after all - and a few crazies; I managed to find two for whom I could vote in good conscience), but what I really cared about was the IRV. I don't like instant runoff voting, at all. So I voted mainly because of that: No, thank you.

Also, I really hate to say this (but I am rather jaded, at this point). In reading this latest piece that says Minnesota is the most civically active state in the country, I would throw out there that, based on my own experiences here, this does not necessarily mean that Minnesota is the most civically knowledgeable state. Just sayin'. (Um, some of you may recall last year's debacle when the whole country realized that a lot of people in this state can't figure out how to fill in a circle on an election ballot, let alone issues like knowing the difference between state and national representation, i.e., "I'm sorry, sir, state senators do not live in Washington, D.C., nor do they work there.")

Also: if I ever attend a protest, this is the sign I want to carry. It will really help me prove my point, and how passionate I am about it.

Yes, I did go out and purchase candy corn and creme pumpkins on sale after Halloween.

On Saturday, I did all sorts of fun stuff, none of it relevant to Halloween.

-Went to the Guthrie, where I saw "Faith Healer," a play written by Brian Friel and directed by Joe Dowling. I had no idea what this was all about going in, so it was all new to me. Definitely Irish, the play had its moments of fun and playfulness, but the entire thing has that downtrodden, slightly dark Irish feel. Joe Dowling acted in it, as did Sally Wingert and Raye Birk - it's basically a play done in four monologues, with only one of the three actors on stage at a time. While all three acted wonderfully, I think Sally Wingert was the most amazing and really stole the show for me. Also amazing: Raye Birk, as Teddy, drank four bottles of what was supposedly beer onstage in approximately 20 or 25 minutes. On the whole, the piece was interesting, but I'm not really sure I'd recommend it, 'cause two days later I'm still not really sure if I liked it or not.

-Went to Ginger Hop, a new restaurant in northeast, and had a grand time eating too much. I liked my entree (General Tsing's chicken - a nice little spicy dish), but my favorite was the cream cheese and carmelized onion wantons served with sesame sauce. Delish. Amongst the three of us dining there, we ate four desserts (they'd made us the wrong one, and it was on the house), and I went home fat and sassy and too lazy to move far from my couch.

-Hit 100K in the ol' car mileage.

-Pulled out the tights and started wearing them. Also: went to Target and bought new ones, and holy cow! They're twice as expensive this year as they were last year...not too happy about that. I must find a new outlet for cheap tights.

-Finally made it in to the latest co-op in my neighborhood, Mississippi Market. Every time I go into a co-op (which, admittedly, is not often), I'm always struck by the, um, how shall I put this? oddity of a few other patrons. I am just not a tree hugger, and never will be. Sorry. Further, I do not believe there is a significant nutritional difference between organically and non-organically produced food, and therefore don't necessarily fit in there. (I reserve the right to discuss pesticides at a later date.) Also: I believe deoderant is a necessity, not a luxury, thank you very much.