Five Minutes of Your Life You'll Never Get Back

Internet,

I started rowing on real water again last week. I have had very bad blisters. Day one: two blood blisters. Day two: those went away (the blood, not the blisters; I'll leave that to your imagination, although if you really wanted, I do have a picture I could provide as proof). Day three: took Wednesday off of practice to let my hands heal, only to go back on Day four: and end up worse than ever. Thank goodness for New Skin and bandages, 'cause otherwise it could've been really awkward shaking those people's hands at work the last two weeks. They're all fine now, and good to go.

Speaking of work...for three weeks in a row, I have thought that it was Wednesday on a Thursday, which was really my Friday (because, Yay! Fridays off with flex schedule during the summer...except today, when I got called back in to the office, so yeah, not so much the "Yay! Friday!" today). And in other work-related news, I may get to go on "vacation" in July. No one's really sure yet, so I just keep working and going about my normal business and shaking people's hands with my awkwardly bandaged phalanges.

In other awkward news, you know what's really good for dinner? Doritos and cottage cheese. I ate it three nights in a row last week. It would've been four nights in a row, but I polished off all the Doritos and cottage cheese in the first three nights.

As for other news, I went to Rock the Garden last weekend. More on that (including pictures!) later.

And finally, I am visiting my tween years. In some ways I kind of feel like I skipped straight from being a grubby youth to a miniature adult who wore suits. Although let's face it: I was never really "miniature." Anyway, to rectify those potential lost years, I've discovered this. And now I feel like the tween I probably never was (and never really will be - now I'm just an old person experimenting with those young people's fads).

And now that I have wasted five minutes of your life you'll never get back...

Have a great weekend, Internet.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

p.s. Happy 3rd Birthday to the cutest niece ever.

MN Constitution: 101

It's like watching a law school exam write itself: here.

Questions that have come up in my mind (besides the obvious Who will win?!):

• What's the proper venue for state courts to sue the state government? (Really. See the second set of motions at the bottom of the page.)
• How many will actually intervene v. "let's just be friends" in these cases?
• How will the courts decide separation of powers under our state constitution?
• Will the courts force the governor to call a special session? Does he need to wash his hands better (unclean hands theory negating equitable relief)?
• Will the courts force everyone into the same room with a mediator - and not let anyone out until they come to an agreement?

All this and more: Updated as new documents are filed with the court. Check back frequently for more exciting reading materials! (And possibly to read study aids for your next law school exam.)

I know I just saw you an hour ago, but...

Happy Father's Day, Dad. (Again.)

~L

Doodling

Dear Internet,

If I didn't have so many co-workers around listening to me, I would gladly sit around playing today's google doodle all day long. (It's a guitar. You strum it with your mouse. Plus, you can record your song, too.) Addictive.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

p.s. How did we go from 103 degrees on Tuesday to 56 degrees right now, two days later? It's freezing here now! I actually didn't mind the heat so much on Tuesday - it was very dry, and I prefer that to humidity. Even if my eyeballs did feel completely dried out. Better to have my eyes water for a couple hours than the rest of my body be completely miserable.

Who knew? (Complete with Updates!)

1. If we say "yes" to the mediator, can we just eliminate the governor's job position?

2. June is "Goat Trauma Awareness Month."

3. Today at the office we're having a competition: who can wear the most sweaters at one time? (Right now, I'm at three.) (It's awfully chilly in the Capitol, and that's not just the Governor's attitude towards the idea of negotiating...see above.)

4. June is National Accordion Awareness Month.

Update:

5. June is National Velociraptor Awareness Month.

Update 2:

6. This is how smartphone users see each other.

There Have Been Good Moments.

Internet,

As I'm sure you noticed from yesterday's post, it's been a stressful few weeks. But I would be remiss to not mention at least a couple of the good moments from the past few weeks.

1. When I left work around 2am one day (I couldn't tell you which day - they all run together), I walked to my car and noticed this glorious scent. There are flowering trees everywhere, and their beautiful aroma was wafting around me as I left work. So, like a crazy person, I walked up to one of them, closed my eyes and deeply inhaled and enjoyed it for a couple of minutes before going home. (Crazy people around here is not an uncommon sight; even at 2 in the morning, I'm pretty sure I blended in just fine.) After spending weeks on end indoors, that was a nice moment.

2. I got to church on the last Sunday of session. I seriously don't think I've been able to do that for the previous five sessions when we were under Democrat control. The DFL loved to keep people here at all hours of the day and night, and Sunday was just another day of the week to them. And along with the time to go to church on Sunday, I did not do two back-to-back all-nighters this year. In fact, I may have worked over 100 hours in six days last week, but I only had one night that lasted until 4am. For that, I am grateful.

3. A co-worker graciously offered me a yoyo maple bacon long john. Let me tell you, Internet: I have eaten a few doughnuts in my day, but I had never experienced anything like this. Maple icing that wasn't too cloyingly sweet. One strip of perfectly crispy bacon. It was delicious, and I could probably eat one every single day if given the opportunity.

I'm probably forgetting a lot more of the good moments, Internet. But I'm glad that I remember those.

xoxo,

LinnEy

Maybe...

...the latte idea this morning was good, but the four shots of espresso in it? Not a good idea.

...when special session starts, I can make it through without killing anyone. (Hey! Made it through the regular session without mishap.) (Pray for me.)

...I won't feel guilty today when I'm not at work at 10 o'clock at night.

...I can put the survival kit (thermarest, blankets) currently in my office back in my car trunk where it belongs.

...when I get home tonight I'll know what to do with myself and this "free time" that will be thrust upon me.

...I won't have to wear a suit for a while now.

...I can get a facial tomorrow.

...I can make plans with friends and family again without fear of having to cancel because I work all hours of the day and night.

...my rowing friends won't mind that I'm out of shape right now.

...I won't dream of washing my hair in a Capitol bathroom sink any more. (What a nightmare.)

Odds and Ends. Well, no ends. Just odds.

Dear Internet,

Sometimes the end looms very, very far out of sight, even if the time until "the end" can be measured in days.

_____

I sent my mom a funny Mother's Day card. And accidentally got my dad in trouble (though the original intent was to poke fun at myself). Everyone had a good laugh over it.

_____

For reasons beyond me, I stayed up late last night ironing dress shirts. Apparently lack of sleep causes me to believe that, for the first time in years, I need to have crisp shirt collars at work. Or maybe friend Amanda has finally seeped into my subconscious, and I ironed in her honor.

_____

Also caused by the lack of sleep and insanity that is my job, I am reaching that stage where I can't relax. So instead, I annoy neighbors by moving furniture around at midnight on a Saturday evening.

_____

I cooked for my mom yesterday. And no one died. (So far.) As I was cooking, I kept thinking, "This is taking me a really long time. Does it usually take a normal person this long to cook bacon?" and "This is a simple dish...it really should not be taking me this long...I must be out of practice...or was I ever in practice?" Again, I killed no one, so that's what counts, right?

_____

Friend K asked me to send out a going-away party invitation to a bunch of people for friend Amanda (see the ironing shirts thing, above) and her husband. K provided the date and time and other details. I provided a re-wording of the Beverly Hillbillies song. Also done in the middle of the night. I can say that I think I got the idea while I was at work, but I really couldn't tell you that for sure. What I am pretty sure of? I'm pretty sure work is driving me a little crazy. Like, I haven't hallucinated yet, but I'm pretty close. (Although? How would I know? I might have really daydreamed that talking mouse in my apartment the other day. Or it could have been a really big bug that didn't actually talk. Or maybe it was a cartoon. Just saying. How would I know? But it was probably just a mouse or a really big bug. I think my roommate thought I was crazy, so...)

_____

I haven't worked out in weeks. I've heard that people have gotten out on some water in these things called boats and used some long stick-like objects to propel themselves around. I am forgetting that part of my life, and to be frank, I'm not sure if I really care.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

p.s. Internet, this is what my friends think my work is all about. But seriously? I don't think extending fall and spring by a mere 1 1/2 months each would actually eradicate winter. It'd have to be more like three months to each...

Waving the White Flag

It is May 2nd. Both yesterday and today have involved snow. Granted, there are not drifts piling up outside my window, but there has definitely been flurries and flakes swirling around out there.

I surrender. I am coming to terms with the fact that winter will never be over.

Sugaring, verb.

Sugaring (ˈʃʊɡərɪŋ)

-verb

1. Consuming massive amounts of sugar upon the breaking of a long fast from sweets

Internet,

According to a co-worker, I have today been engaged in "sugaring." Since I have this week ended my sugar fast, I've gone off the deep end, culminating tonight in eating a dinner of a strawberry shake & two cherry pies from McD's, a bunch of milk chocolate Easter eggs, and some rum flavor lifesavers (I didn't even know they made such things; they are delicious). Every day since Sunday, I have consumed sweets - sometimes vast quantities. I keep thinking to myself, "This will not end well," and although I expect a raging stomachache, none has occurred. But tonight that may change. I have the beginnings of a headache, and while I will tell the world it's work-related, it's probably caused by both the work and the sugar. But at least the sweets are making me care very little that it's after 8 in the evening and I'm still at work.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

Comparisons: WWII

Internet,

I'm not sure if it was a really good idea or a really bad one, but on one of my days off of work this week I watched the entire Band of Brothers series. In some ways, bad idea: my life has consisted of work, work, stress, and more work the last few months, and maybe watching something that some might view as traumatic, stressful and (at times) depressing was not the way to go. In many ways, good idea: I love the history of WWII, and eat this stuff up. Further, I'd never seen it and wanted to watch it all back-to-back to get the full experience out of it. Finally, after watching it, just about anyone's life would look pretty darn good and easy.

So, on a cold day in April that involved more snow (and therefore, I had no desire to go outside), I sat down and watched it all. All six discs. One day. I watched all 10 episodes, and went through all the special features. And you know something? I really can't complain. I learned a lot, it was a great series, and my life seems pretty darn easy right now.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy

p.s. Moving on to Alan Furst's Dark Star, though? Now that might be taking it too far. The Russians with their black souls and fatalism in the late 1930s and during WWII is possibly too much. Maybe I shouldn't have read the first hundred pages the very next day after watching Band of Brothers. And yet, I still think I have it pretty good, and I really can't complain.

Vacationing: Mr. Hobbs' Style

Internet,

Since I really can't take a vacation now (not until session is over), I decided to live vicariously through someone else. Never mind that that someone else is a fictitious character in a movie, but I'll take it. I re-watched Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation last night. Internet, I had forgotten how hilarious I find that movie. And now that I work where I work, several moments take on a whole new meaning for me ("infant delinquents," for instance). (Shame on you, Internet! I didn't mean that the legislators were...well, never mind. I meant that I cover crime issues in my job.) Anyway, watching the movie made me feel better - if that's what vacations are like, I don't want one. Work will be fine, thank you.

(But actually, I do get to take a couple of desperately-needed days off this week because as of 3:00p.m. today, all of my bosses are on Easter/Passover break! Hallelujah! I can't wait to have a bit of time away from this place. Easter coming so late this year has had some side effects - namely, my co-workers' and my mental health, since we are not allowed to take any time off between MLK Day in January and Easter, whenever that comes on the calendar.)

_____

In other news, apparently there are now coconut M&Ms. I must try these. And I possibly will, once Easter is here and I can eat sugar and dessert and candy again. (This has also affected my mental health. I now dream of work and doughnuts. And then I feel stressed from the work part of my dreams and guilty from the sugar part of my dreams - even though I'm not really working or eating doughnuts! It's just a dream! But that candy "tasted" so real...)

_____

I unexpectedly bought furniture on Saturday.

[In some ways, I'm not even really sure how to continue with this random thought. It seems so funny and bizarre to "unexpectedly" buy furniture.]

Although I have thought about purchasing living room chairs for a long time (well, basically since I bought the couch five years ago), I randomly woke up on Saturday and decided to do it. One long four-hour shopping trip later, I spent a lot of money and have nothing to show for it. (Yet.) But after those four hours, I definitely have opinions. Lots and lots of them, and they generally involve words like "HATE," "ugh," "Who the heck would BUY this?" and "Someone actually wants to relive the 1970s?!?!" Internet, I have obviously gone into the wrong business. I, too, could design really ugly furniture and apparently make a living at it.

The secretary arrives this week. (For those of you who wonder, no, I did not purchase a person who will do stuff for me; I bought a desk with cool cubbies in it.)

Because of my desire for upholstery that doesn't look like a small dog barfed up peas and squash on shag carpet that was then hastily slapped on a frame, the chairs will take 6-8 weeks to arrive. And maybe in 6-8 weeks, we will be done with session and I can sit in my new chairs. (If I remember where I live, at that point.) But I can assure you I will not be eating any coconut M&Ms (or squash) whilst I sit in the new chairs for fear that I will revisit the ugly upholstery issue.

xoxo,

Minny LinnEy