thoughts on the 'Sconsin Bar

While perusing the Wisconsin Bar Examination Information letter I received the other day, I was confused by a couple of items.

Granted, the requirement for two forms of current ID and testing schedule information were not that unusual. What was different was the comprehensive list of what will and will not be allowed at the test seat. Now, I've done this before in a different jurisdiction, so I figured nothing would be that new. Apparently I was wrong.

According to the list of allowable items, I may have "1 small package of gum, mints or candy," yet I may not wear "flip-flop style shoes (due to noise)." Now, I don't know about you, but some people chew their gum at a noise level that could seriously compete with all of my flip-flops combined (and I own an extensive collection of such footwear). Or maybe the Bar Examiners' interest in not killing one's seatmate with one's halitosis is such a compelling interest that it outweighs the noise level of chewing gum.

And if I choose something other than chewing gum, that's really what I want to be doing: giving myself a sugar high by eating a small package of candy - as if it's not hard enough sitting there, concentrating all day long. I'm already a fidgeter; I don't want to make it worse.

Also, I will be allowed "1 can, bottle or cup of beverage." I'm tempted to take in my Eddie Bauer unbreakable-plastic 32-oz bottle, just to see if they regulate size as well, but forgot to tell us. However, if they do let me take it in, I'll probably absent-mindedly drink the entire thing in the first hour and a half of the test, and spend the last hour and a half wishing I hadn't. (Twice; once during the morning session, and in my nervous state, forget and do it again during the afternoon session.) They don't tell us that it cannot be an alcoholic beverage, either. Maybe that's another thing they forgot to tell us. Well, if it is, that's what some people will probably use their mints for - to cover up the smell of their alcohol-drenched breath. I mean, imagine getting 32 ounces of the stuff into the room in a Nalgene bottle? Obviously I can, otherwise I wouldn't be suggesting it, not to say that I'm inclined to do such an idiotic thing.

I am apparently to expect a pat-down at the door by my proctor: "Proctors will remove items that do not conform...[and] may check the pockets of any clothing in the test room..." I'm reasonably sure that statement means the clothing on my body (especially since other than a sweater or sweatshirt to be "hung over the back of your chair" when not in use, no other clothing items are allowed). That's a new one; I've never been patted down just to take a test (unless one counts getting through airport security as a test).

Keys are not allowed. I'm curious; do they mean hotel room keys (the exam will be given at a hotel conference facility) or car keys? What do they think I am going to do with the car keys? Use the remote unlocking device to beam me the answers or something? Set off the car alarm to disrupt the exam? I think not. I'm trying to pass this thing, not mess it up for myself. And as for the key itself, I'm not really inclined to try to scratch any notes into metal. I'm not that dishonest, let alone industrious enough to try.

I suppose the good news in all of this is that they expect results to be released in early September. To only wait six weeks after taking the exam will be a blessing indeed. However, results are released by mail only, which fits in with the no-word-processors-or-laptops-to-write-the-essays rule; WI hasn't gotten quite as far as CA when it comes to the electronic age of information. Oh well. I should still be thankful that it's only six weeks and the few days it takes to receive the letter in the mail to get results, rather than three or four months.